Ok, I can't find where I packed the camera ... so those pictures are going to have to wait a bit. And I can't get internet started until Thursday some time, so blogging will remain light.

I will tell you though, as cluttered, chaotic, and unkept the new place seems in the midst of unpacking ... it is still SOOO nice. I just may have to start calling it The Manor, but I shall open a poll for the official name once I find the camera.

Unfortunately, I have had trouble sleeping the past couple of nights... but, I think that will pass. The overhwelming peacefulness of lying in my own bed, in my own house, listening to the crickets under the moonlight pouring across the ceiling has made me see how much stress I have been carrying over the last two years ... just from the tension of my living arrangements.

The guy I lived with was just the wrong person for me. Without placing too much judgement ... our personalities might as well have been oil and water. What was I thinking living with a Democrat? As awful a roommate as he thought I was, I hope karma sends in my place someone worth complaining about. My landlord was just too much of a slumlord for my taste. I have had better luck with apartment complexes with incompetent management. And the track-star children living upstairs were maddening. Having my car keyed in the parking lot didn't help my comfort level either.

I see frequent and prolonged use of my new soaking tub in the near future.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:15 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Umm...if you can't get the internet working, how in the WORLD did you make this post? Paying internet people everywhere want to know!

Posted by: Ogre at September 19, 2006 02:59 PM (oifEm)

2 I recall waking up with you on that morning listening to the acrobatics upstairs and thinking...what in the fuck is going on? A seal pounding a herring on the table?

Posted by: Armywifetoddlermom at September 19, 2006 07:19 PM (p5nKV)

3 Congratulations on your new home! Got Lawnmower Man?

Posted by: RedNeck at September 19, 2006 08:50 PM (a6pA8)

4 big congrats... name ideas: Dudette Ranch The Csthouse Swift Kick and a Mortgage PeacePad LadyLodge If you want Eric at your door: The Library If not: Zombie Mansion

Posted by: RSM at September 20, 2006 05:18 AM (FbUOu)

5 One of the first things you will adjust to is that whenever you go to the store, from now until the foreseeable future, it will cost you a minimum of $100. And you don't even have fun getting the stuff! A new trash can, mailbox, yard tools, something to repair the faucet. Doesn't matter, by the time you leave the home improvement store it will cost you in units of $100. (OK, perhaps I exaggerate.) So much fun! But having your very own place - it is the best!!! Think you got some good name suggestions. The Manor seems like a good option, although a bit formal. I kind of like a Swift Kick and a Mortgage... But a bit long for daily use. Congratulations! Welcome to home ownership!

Posted by: jck at September 20, 2006 06:37 AM (Up6GA)

6 ... congrats on the new digs!...

Posted by: Eric at September 20, 2006 07:56 AM (NlzwQ)

7 The Castle? you are a princess.. The Manor I have seen pictures, it is loverly The Money Pit, because all homes are

Posted by: Armywifetoddlermom at September 20, 2006 12:30 PM (TeFOm)

8 The Palace? After all, isn't that where modern day princesses live?

Posted by: Princess Cat at September 20, 2006 02:31 PM (58Hrx)

9 Congratulations! You lived with a Democrat? Jesus, you're a woman of many secrets....all us GWU folks thought you were solidly redstate.

Posted by: Aglissade at September 20, 2006 03:07 PM (UMVKj)

10 This is esprit d escalier typing: The Cathouse. Isn't it obvious?

Posted by: Aglissade at September 20, 2006 03:12 PM (UMVKj)

11 Congrats! And they are right about the money. It seems I am always buying crap for my new place!

Posted by: Sissy at September 20, 2006 10:28 PM (e+8WB)

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My interview today was ... unconventional, shall we say ...

It was a good chat, but very little interview. We told stories, but I found it hard to fit my sales pitch into the mix. I have no idea if a position will come out of it or not.

So I am again left feeling like grad school prepared me very little for the job market. I am able to perform like a trained monkey for 2 years - this time that skill yielded a piece of paper (that I have yet to see btw) ... fantastic.

I am a highly skilled dynamo ... on paper.

I am even more highly skilled in real life. Give me a job, I'll almost assuredly figure out how to do it and do it damn well. I'm nothing if I'm not impressive when I put my mind to something.

So what happened to make the job market feel so narrow?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:40 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I survived ceremony #1 ... and ...

I am now officially an alum of yet another University.

I think that means I'm old, twice.

Now I just have to wait until ceremony #2 is over on Sunday to say I'm officially done with Grad School.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 04:03 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I will be primping for my final day and stressing about getting everyone there on time.

Tomorrow is the day I can walk across the stage, flipping the bird to those who well deserve it, and genuinely thank those that helped me maintain my desire and fueled my passion.

Too bad my sickness is getting worse by the day ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:58 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Three more days ...

Count 'em with me - one. two. three

I'm sure as hell not ready for it to be here, but it's about damn time

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm 25 days away from graduation and 5 days away from my final class meeting of my first tour in graduate school* ... and I'm having a tough time reaching the finish line. How pathetic is that? I'm just that worn down.

Coming off a night at Fran's and the Milblogging Conference, I'm doing a bit of wallowing, I suppose ... Feeling a little guilty for being so stressed over things that are so minor at the end of the day. Truthfully, I had a hard time remembering everything that was said at the conference simply because I had to fight so hard to not cry.

I sat there Saturday afternoon, trying not to let the tears show, ashamed for having been so petty and having felt so mired in drama over the past several months. I am young, I have a roof over my head, I have been given a multitude of great opportunities. My biggest concerns are finding a job and a relationship that I can be happy in. Really not such major things when you really stop to look at them.

I know that I will not starve as I try to find a job ... I have a safety net, even if it does come with a lot of drama. Somedays I would rather starve than depend on the net, but it is there nonetheless. And a job is there, I'm sure of it.

I know that "the one" will be revealed to me someday - that one day I will find my sanctuary where I can be safe from the mean, mean world. And I know all the nights I have cried myself to sleep were nothing more than me tolerating way too much of the wrong kind of treatment. I can't blame anyone but myself for that.

But I am so worn down that seeing the light at the end of the graduate school tunnel, the roof, the net, the path to "the one" takes more focus than I usually feel I can muster most mornings. And right now, I just feel like a horrible, selfish person for being so upset ...

*I say first tour in grad school because anyone that has talked to me for 5 minutes knows, I will more than likely pursue another degree by the time I hit 30.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 04:50 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Today, at 18:00, I left my place of work - seemingly for good.

I am a slave no more.

If I return to the dreary halls, it shall be with a salary and benefits.

and in 37 days, I shall be free...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I've just gotten home from an interview that appears to be with a good group of people, flexible work environment, and decent pay for part time work.

But I'm pretty sure I bombed it.

I was distracted by trying not to cough ... which failed and to which after a few minutes one of the interviewers said, "you sound miserable" - great, just what I want an interviewer to be focused on...

My head was definitely not in the game. I did not sell my skills, my talent, or my interests with any kind of convincing bravado. I listened to them more than they listened to me, and given that I depend on the face-to-face sale in order to be hired, that's just not a good thing.

Yet, I'm pretty ok with this failure.

I took the interview, despite feeling like complete ass, because every interview helps prepare you for the next. So, I learned some lessons this morning from actual interview experience - that's a good thing.

Then, you have to think - a foot in A door, isn't always going to get you a foot in THE door that you're looking for. I know I could do the work they are asking for but it is a foot in the door to an aspect of the industry that I haven't ever been super-infatuated with. So, maybe there is no real big loss in not going to work for them.

But more importantly, maybe an immediate opening isn't what is meant to be for me at this time. This job starts ASAP - like in 2 weeks or less. No break between current job and next. No re-grouping. No downtime. Only start now, work now. Somewhere I have to hope that fate has scheduled for me some kind of respite from things. Sure, there are a lot of people facing lives much more difficult than mine but that doesn't mean I'm not deserving of some rest.

And then there's Dad, who has asked me if I might come to Kansas again and share in some of the childhood he experienced there. I can only guess he wants to re-live and pass on to help him heal from the loss of his mother, the re-awakened pain of losing his father at the age of 13, and the realization that he has no parents left. And knowing that what little support my dad is willing to accept comes only from my brother and me, I feel that I have to make that something important in my life right now.

So, maybe itÂ’s ok to fail this time. Maybe this failure it is part of something larger that is meant to be, for a better opportunity and a better me.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:13 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Bonus points for anyone that can guess what time I left work today...

:-\

UPDATE:
That 1 Guy pretty much nailed it. I finally left work about 00:15.
I had gotten up at 05:00 and arrived at work by 07:15.

Talk about cheap labor...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:02 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I walked into the house this evening, coming home straight from 11 hours at work ... with a relatively short commute ... and I still set foot inside my door only to mark less than 11 hours until I had to be back at work.

Dinner, laundry, ironing, attempt at a life, job applications...

... shower, hair, make up, breakfast, rush hour commute ...

Unpaid

AWESOME

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I think this is where I find out if all this "education" has made me employable.

Somehow, I think I'm screwed...

Update: 9:15 PM
After 2 hours, 17 conversations, and 12 resumes ... either I have a lot of smoke blown up my skirt, which would be really embarassing to have happen (again), or it wasn't an entirely unsucessful afternoon.

At least four of the potential employers appeared interested enough to pursue an application...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 07:36 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 ... good luck!...

Posted by: Eric at February 07, 2006 10:02 AM (r5XsL)

2 Am in much the same postion as yourself... It's totally freaking me out, as long as I don't end up as an admin/secretary gopher after shelling out thousands to 'better myself' it'll be ok... good luck!

Posted by: The Lady Muck at February 07, 2006 11:32 AM (eV6hb)

3 I got no problem finding work, heck jobs are abundant and paying very very well (Bachelors & 0 yrs experience - $50-63k, Masters & o yrs experience $65+k) and not to mention I'm keep getting calls from headhunters. Good luck with the search!

Posted by: the Pirate at February 07, 2006 12:11 PM (0ZKi5)

4 huh? can i get a pirate job? i had no idea they paid so well for wearing eye patches and saying "aaarrrgghh" good to know you know i have a job for you, right? sure it doesn't have squat to do with your interests, nor your education, but it pays huge dividends in personal fufillment. think about it. applications accepted in austin april 28th. please say i'll see you there.

Posted by: shoe at February 08, 2006 07:47 AM (TIk6S)

5 Of course they're interested. Good luck!

Posted by: Tammi at February 08, 2006 07:58 AM (lfQya)

6 Of all of the blowing up your skirt that I'd enjoying engaging in, I can't see smoke being introduced. Anyhow, best of luck.

Posted by: skippystalin at February 08, 2006 09:08 AM (ohSFF)

7 Nah I didn't get in piracy for the money, I did it for the wenches!

Posted by: the Pirate at February 08, 2006 12:31 PM (0ZKi5)

8 Woohoo i got my fingers crossed for you katie

Posted by: Katie at February 08, 2006 02:27 PM (E+7PI)

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Grad studenting - Week 1:
I haven't had my super special "you - can't - graduate - until - you - take - this - class" class yet, but the class I did have this week turned out to be pretty cool. The instructor is very knowledgable AND personable. Though, I wish he had discussed blogs a little bit more (and in a little bit more favorable manner). He should prove for a good first half of the semester.

Re-interning - Week 1:
The good news ...
There is some really cool shit going on in this office
There's definitely a full day's work ready and waiting every morning
I don't think I'll ever be bored

The bad news ...
Going home early appears to be a thing of the past
Schoolwork will likely have to be left at home

Posted by: Princess Cat at 07:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Tomorrow I head back to life as a grad student (Oh Joy!) and as an intern. That means I have spent my afternoon obsessively ironing clothes and fretting over which outfits make the best first impressions. You see, I will be interning in a new office this semester so I'm a little nervous about meeting the new boss. Even more so because these programs are terrible about providing adequate information prior to arrival. Oh, have I mentioned I'm not a big fan of uncertainty?

- I have no idea if the guy who called to offer me the position will be my boss. I'm getting the sinking feeling that he may not be. Mostly because I can't see them trusting an intern to work with a Deputy Director.

- I have no idea what my job function will be. Clearly my job function at the last place ended up being much different than I had expected it to be. This time, I just don't have any expectations. But if someone asks me to make coffee, get coffee, or do anything with dry cleaning ... I'm going to be pissed.

- I have no idea if my ID badge will work or if I will be able to access my computer. Especially since these aspects of my internship went so swimmingly last time...

- I have no idea how much fuss I will cause with HR tomorrow seeing as my paperwork from the last internship was never filed correctly (their error, not mine). I was not properly 'exited' from the system, it will be interesting to see what happens when they try to properly re-enter me.

What I do know is, I need to get crackin on my resume so I can line up a real job...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:50 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Good luck ...I know you can do it..and will conquer the world.... cant wait to hear how it went katie

Posted by: katie at January 17, 2006 12:15 PM (S4IqN)

2 Good luck to you, no doubt you'll do well no matter what. Quit worrying and go eat some cheese.

Posted by: Andi at January 17, 2006 06:09 PM (PJs/i)

3 What's wrong with the sexy-wicked school teacher outfit you wear so well?

Posted by: Tige at January 17, 2006 06:15 PM (QgCnE)

4 I also wanted to give you my "best wishes". Go get 'em!

Posted by: Tige at January 17, 2006 06:16 PM (QgCnE)

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I have grades from two of my three courses up and boy is viewing them painful...

I'm generally little miss good grade...

So far,
One B ... very hard to swallow but probably very well deserved. I struggled with those four papers like I have never struggled with any assignment before.

One B+ ... incredibly disappointed here ... I loved this class. The final was a piece of cake, which can only mean I did miserable on my paper. Guess he didn't think I was creative enough...

And I don't expect a wonderful grade in the remaining course. That professor and I clashed a bit, and he tried to nail me saying I didn't turn in a final paper, when I had proof that I had.

I will be so glad when I have graduated...

UPDATE:
The last grade finally came in. Another B+ ...
I know I shouldn't really care at this point - how much is my GPA going to matter once I've landed a job? But it is the first time in my life that there wasn't an A/A- on the grade report. A definite blow to the ego, but also a reflection of how disinterested I've become in the program.
My courses in the PhD department were tough, they were a challenge, they attempted to answer some of the questions plaguing our field. Maybe I need to be back in that department instead....

Posted by: Princess Cat at 09:55 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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...Please stay on the line, your call is very important to us...

My final paper of the semester is due this afternoon so that explains the bit of quiet on the blog. But I'll be back later this evening...

...hopefully rather intoxicated...

UPDATE (12:17am):
I am not rather intoxicated as planned. In fact, I am far too sober for how stressful this semester was. Getting lost in the city, being late, having to walk between bars in the freezing cold, and having friends flake out is a bit of a buzz kill. But, (silver lining time) there is always Friday's happy hour... that is my last day of work for an entire month!!! Perhaps a bit of drunk blog on Friday instead.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 07:36 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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No, I'm not dead... I just wish I were...

It's the last week of classes and final paper are upon me. That alone is enough to make anyone want to play in traffic. But, I am managing to get through it... so far...

I have 20-24 pgs due Wednesday, an assignment due next Tuesday of unknown length or topic, and 20-25 pgs due next Wednesday.

If I'm a little crabby, now you know why...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:53 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Not 24 hours after I turned in those oh so horridly evil science policy papers, the professor e-mails out the next round of questions.

Doesn't this guy understand my poor tired brain can only handle so much of his mish mash rolling around my pretty little head?

But its going on the back burner anyway... I've got another assignment due ahead of those ones. I tell you, it just never stops...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Did I say something about my work ethic not letting me abandon my boss?

Yeah... um... scratch that... I'm at home today.

After all, isn't my GPA more important than an internship where I don't get paid, I do good work, and I'm willing to stay past my expected date of service? I think so.

So now the pressure's on, progress has been made, but I think the quality of the work has actually improved. I still don't like writing these damn things though.

Leave me a joke or something so I don't feel like this day sux so much... please?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 10:05 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I have never been so unmotivated to write papers in my life. I realize that science policy is important and it does have an impact on our national security, but these questions are just not up my freakin alley.

20-24 pgs, due by tomorrow evening...
My work ethic says I can't take the day off tomorrow, even though I work for free, because my boss hates to run the report I normally do Monday morning...
And I've got about, oh, eight pages?

I'm screwed... and not for a lack of effort either...

The only light at the end of the tunnel is that this is my last course in order to complete this concentration. Thank all that is holy I'm graduating in May. (Hopefully I haven't spoken too soon on that one...)

Back to the grindstone ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 10:03 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Good news: no class tonight so no irritatingly moronic line of questioning

Bad news: I still have a paper due for the class tonight ... and I haven't written it yet...

UPDATE - 4:10am
The book review I was working on - DONE, four hours late...

but I have a feeling I'm going to be late to work today...

Anyone who wants a copy of my review on The Coming Democracy by Ann Florini, let me know... it's a great 6.5 pgs of bedtime reading.

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