Whenever my husband goes off on one of his long term play dates in another country, I find myself compelled to clean. And I do mean COMPELLED ... seriously, I just finished reorganizing the freezer.

Forget the fact that the kitchen floor is a mess and the counters look like they need a bleach bath and I think there is dog food smeared on one of the cabinets ... that freezer is organized!

Earlier, I relocated a TV to create a better layout in the spare bedroom (don't worry, the TV has not been evicted in my husband's absence ... where else would I send him to play his XBOX and get out of my hair?) and reorganized a storage closet.

Up next - organizing craft supplies and gift wrap items!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It was cramped and dim - a gray cube lit only by a few florescent bulbs. There was barely enough room to turn around with the acrid smell of chemical disinfectant floating through the air. An overwhelming uneasiness consumed the small environment as the floor felt like it would never stop moving.

I knelt and prayed as best as I could.

As Maui disappeared from view, I hoped for nothing more than to not throw up in the first class lavatory. I came back to my seat so overwelmed by the flu-like feeling that I hid my face and cried.

I spent the rest of the flight clutching an airsick bag - thankfully not needing to put it to use - and fitfully trying to sleep.

It was not a great way to end 9 days in paradise, and just a hint at how the return trip would go. But I am home now, and no longer in paradise where I spent my time taking pictures of sea turtles instead of blogging.

I am sad to leave Hawaii behind but I am glad to be home.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:36 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Dear Verizon Wireless,

I have lived in the same proximity for the last four years and it wasn't until I upgraded to the "fabulous" EnV2 that I had problems.

Ridiculous numbers of dropped calls. And never in the same place twice. I'm talking like 4 dropped calls during one conversation.

You replaced my phone, it still doesn't work.

You moved me to tier two tech support, it took over a week to get a response when you promised 24-48 hours.

The answer - marginal coverage area.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I've lived here for four years with no problems and now, after I get one of your "high end phones," you want be to believe that part of the Washington metro area - in which you have repeaters in even the metro tunnels - is really a marginal coverage area?!?

Bite me, Verizon

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:58 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Overheard on the bus as the door opened at a stop:

"Nice talking to you. I really hope you call."

Uhm... really? Did scuzzy guy just hit on creepy frigid lady? On the bus?

Wow.

I bet you stand a really great chance, dude.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:24 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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For whatever reason, commuters have chosen this week to flood the evening buses. I'm talking standing room only, multi-bus-long lines at transfer points (especially the metro). That may explain my new found, uh, "friend" today.

I was sitting in one of the seats that faces the aisle of the bus (as opposed to facing the front of the bus), talking to my coworker in the row next to me, minding my own business, and I noticed ... my space was being encroached upon.

Ordinarily on an overly crowded bus, this is common and a slightly annoyed look reminds the offender that they should stay within their own space. Hey, it works. (I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that I am generally several inches taller than said offender or have a slightly annoyed face that also says, "Do I look like I'm going to let that slide?" They just stop ... What? I've never done bodily harm to anyone on the bus ...)

That technique did not work so well today...

At first, because I was trying to talk to my friend, I tried to ignore it. But the encroachment kept on coming... Mr. Hoodie next to me fell asleep and was trying to use me as his personal shoulder pillow!

I kept shifting toward my friend but one can only move their upper body so far in one direction without looking like they are trying to cut one, tipping over, or ripping in half. So, he ended up square on my shoulder like we were new best buddies. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, he woke up, lifted his head, and tried to mutter some type of "excuse me" or "sorry" ... I couldn't really tell ...

Sing it with me everyone ... AWKWARD!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 07:39 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Lesson of the day:

It is worth paying a professional to do the job right when one wants their armpits waxed.

Yes, I tried to do this myself ... and failed ...

Luckily, I didn't injure myself but I did end up with a bunch of sticky purple wax to clean up and significantly more hair left than one would expect after a wax job. Is there a more coordinated woman out there that has managed to do this at home successfully?*

*If I were awesome enough to have a gay following like Tori Spelling or Jen Lancaster, I would almost expect this answer to come from some fabulous tranny that knows how to dress with style miles beyond me. But, I'm not that awesome ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:05 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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One should not start a new year crying ...

I just got off the phone with the new "I think I'm fantastic" dentist office. Apparently my entire mouth full of is rotting out of my head at a speed I never imagined possible. Well, ok ... its not that bad ... but it is bad.

The first installment of four filling appointments (yes, I said four) is slated to cost me a whopping $1,095 and my insurance has graciously agreed to pay the lovely sum of $84. That only leaves me with another $1,011 to come up with.

multiply times four ...

I'm looking at approximately $4000 flying out of my bank account before the year even gets off to a rolling start.

Oh, and did I note that Mr. I Am So Fantastic has no idea why I have so many cavities? He assumed I drink soda and eat a lot of candy ... neither of which I do. I am a daily brusher. Granted a less than daily flosser. But I avoid gum, mints, soda, candy, chewy foods ... so care to explain why I'm looking at drill-a-palooza 08 ...?

Someone please tell me I'm still sleeping off a bad night of binge drinking and that this is just a nightmare I will wake up from quite soon ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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So ...

do you officially stop being an academic when you start using toilet paper as a bookmark ...?

Or did does that happen much earlier and I just missed it?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:00 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I had another doctors appointment this morning so I decided to take the whole day off...

I've come to the computer with the urge to blog three or four times now since I got done with the appointment, but nothing seems to be there, ready to come out.

I think its time to admit I'm in another funk

I want back what I never really had ... but my heart remembers what I told myself it was. I know I don't want what it would be now ... but my heart remembers what I convinced myself it would be today.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:51 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 "I want back what I never really had ... but my heart remembers what I told myself it was. I know I don't want what it would be now ... but my heart remembers what I convinced myself it would be today." OK darling, this paints a broad picture for me, although it almost seems sort of midlife crises like. You are far to young to be second guessing your choices at this juncture of life. Although with all of the death, and turmoil going on I can see why. Is this a broadly painted picture, or something smaller and more specific? I am guessing we all have these moments. What if? What if? What ifs do not matter after a certain point. you either have to make due or change course, and rememebr you only get one ride, so it better be a good one. Well unless you believe in reincarnation, and then you get several. Take it easy and please stop being so damn hard on yourself. You are your worst critic.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at September 02, 2007 11:34 PM (GumZ4)

2 What kind of doctor? The kind that I see? I think you need to create a myspace account solely so you can read my blogs.

Posted by: Dorothy at September 03, 2007 11:07 AM (jmeTO)

3 Try standing on your head. At least if the ideas don't shift in your brain, the blood flow will do some interesting things...

Posted by: Ogre at September 05, 2007 09:28 AM (oifEm)

4 Cheer up Cat. Assrot loves ya. :-) Have a nice night!

Posted by: Assrot at September 05, 2007 06:11 PM (ARCEn)

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According to the belief that God (whoever and where ever that being is these days) only gives you can handle ... I'm one resilient muther fucker...

We all saw a funeral coming ... Sunday it will finally arrive. Monday we will go do what the military calls a burial. After that much neglect and selfishness, how could you not see this coming? I'm fairly certain they did and that was precisely why they behaved the way they did. The only thing I have to say about that is: passively allowing a person to die is still actively choosing not to help a person live.

And if that weren't enough ...

My aunt needs surgery on her foot after crushing her heel and she's dealing with a compression fracture of thoracic vertebrae. Its a tough road to go when you've got help - she lives alone and is now homebound, unable to navigate the stairs to her front door.

Have you ever felt like your family was cursed?

(yes, that is rhetorical)

Didn't someone say I deserved a break? Cuz I wanna call in my favor now ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 07:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The biggest news in my life these days?

The new medicine is making it hurt to wear a bra ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 09:39 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 That's too easy. Take. It. Off. I should be getting paid for this :-)

Posted by: lex at July 26, 2007 10:41 PM (TGqbK)

2 I'm sorry hon, but that's just plain funny. But I can empathize. I really really can.

Posted by: caltechgirl at July 27, 2007 01:02 AM (qPLLC)

3 What Lex said. I woulda said it first but was busy doing something...umm...else.

Posted by: Pinch at July 27, 2007 07:47 AM (K/i8p)

4 Humm... Racy comments abound in my mind... But I would want to slap myself for writing them...

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at July 27, 2007 10:26 AM (iJhG9)

5 I am going to guess they put you on new estrogen of some sort... welcome to the world of big boobs, and weight gain...

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 27, 2007 11:12 AM (xS6SC)

6 Yep, big boobs seem great until you've got to lug 'em around for a few days. Invest in some of those spandex-y tanks from VS. Your shoulders will thank you.

Posted by: Venomous Kate at July 29, 2007 06:03 PM (fBHz6)

7 So don't wear one and slap the dogshit out of anyone that stares at your magnificence. :-)

Posted by: Assrot at July 31, 2007 05:51 PM (ARCEn)

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I keep waiting for my official retard certificate to arrive in the mail.

Seriously...

... its coming ...

I somehow managed to trip over a ceiling fan this morning and bleed all over my bathroom floor. It was pure genius, I'm telling you. At fucking 6 am.

My first instinct looking at the wound was stitches. I later convinced myself that I had overreacted and a clean cut like that could heal itself with the help of a butterfly closure.

My first panic was getting blood on the carpet. My second was at keeping the swelling down so that my toe rings didn't have to be cut off. I have priorities here people.

I landed in urgent care after work because as much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed a tetanus shot. I was almost 2 yrs overdue as it was. Of course they wanted to look at the wound. And of course ... what had done such a great job of knitting back together came gaping open and bleeding everywhere in the hallway as I took the bandage off.

Fuck.

I am now the proud wearer of stitches. Just in time for a long weekend.

I'm telling you ... that card is on its way. It is in the mail.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:38 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I. Fucking. Hate. Hippies.

But I love free stuff, so sometimes I put up with them ... as long as their stuff doesn't smell like patchouli ... And I joined the lovely little yahoo group that Buckethead introduced me to, Freecycle. Exactly how it sounds ... you give your stuff away and other people take it. (Better known as other people give their stuff away and I take it)

There are only a couple catches to this nifty system:

1. They break it down regionally - which can severely fuck people like me that live on the border of two regions the hippy-gods arbitrarily decided would be good divisions (see rules 2&3 for an explanation of the fucking)

2. Crossposting in multiple areas is NOT ALLOWED! (Apparently it wastes gas and causes too much competition for items ... WTF???)

3. The moderators for the DC area take their jobs WAAAAAAY too seriously.

I ran into this problem when I first moved in and had nothing to offer anyone else but needed things like ... oh I don't know ... a lamp? I was chastised for posting a request without a prior offer. Bitches...

Current problem with this hippy moderator ... giving away a loveseat. This moderator continues to remove my post to give away a loveseat. She initially removed it and chastised me for crossposting in two areas ... and then immediately allowed posting of it again. (Huh?) Now she has removed my posts because I did not wait the appropriate period of time to post on the second list.

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN! IF I HAVE TO POST IT TWICE ON BOTH LISTS HOW MUCH INTEREST IN THIS DAMN LOVESEAT DO YOU THINK THERE IS?????

So I sent her one of my patent-pending notes about how her rule following was not only petty but in direct competition to her hippy loving goals of environmental safety ... this loveseat is off to the landfill ...

Hippy Bitch

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:52 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Since there has been so much ahem ... interest ... in this shoe:

I have added it to my amazon wish list and IF they end up on my doorstep, I promise to wear them during the next Milblog Conference lunch.

There ya have it ... Bluff. Called.

Flip or fold, folks

Posted by: Princess Cat at 10:04 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Ok ... seriously ... WOW

Amazon has truly shocked me. I don't really know why, but in searching for shoes today on Amazon ... I was shocked.

And educated.

I had no idea there were so many different types of fetish shoes. Nor did I realize that searching for my size shoe would bring so many of them up.

I have huge feet. I know this. I'm ok with this ...

My long toes come in very handy - and when you least expect it ;-)
Clodhoppers serve to provide a more painful whoopin when someone has it coming. There ARE advantages...

... Except when it comes to shoe shopping. Open toed shoes are less of a problem, but closed toed shoes ... freakin' nightmare. This is why I not only looked like a moron and wore strappy black sandals to my grandmother's funeral in February, in Kansas, but have spent days with shoes full of blood and carry rolls of athletic tape in my work bag.

Seriously though Amazon ... Buying shoes on the internet is hard enough. Do I really have to search through all the freaky sex shoes to get to what I need? And do I really need to be reminded that there are people out there with the time and money to buy/need freaky sex shoes while I am looking for "sensible" business shoes?

Not fair.

And I do not want to know where the heel of this shoe has been...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 05:36 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Scene: 1 dead lady, 1 tissue bucket, 6 teenagers assigned to expose muscle tissue and learn everything there is to know about each one - action, origin, insertion, nerve

By this point, we had spent several of our dissection days unpuddling the fluid that earned Lucy her name. She was fairly dry, kept moist instead by a mist sprayed on her at the end of every dissection day. Without her gallons of fluid to plump her up, she sagged and almost caved in places.

We had taken great care to peel her skin off in sheets, exposing blood vessels, muscle, connective tissue, tendons, ligaments, and fat. The fat was blocking a clear view of everything else we needed to see so it had to go. Carefully removed, tweeze by tweeze of our tiny little tools meant to keep every structure in tact.

Being that there were six of us and one tissue bucket to hold everything we removed from Lucy, we had to find somewhere else to dump our tweezers full of fat. Where better than a pile on her torso?

Note, her torso was also one of those caved in places that looked remarkably like a bowl at the end of the day ... a bowl full of little yellow globs of fat ...

Or if you're a teenager ...

A bowl full of jujubes!!

But they were renamed Ju-Lu-bes, of course (and I've never eaten them again!)

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:10 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Over the last couple of days it dawned on me ... I get some kind of sick, twisted, deep down, pleasure-filled enjoyment out of firing doctors.

I'm not a huge fan of the profession to begin with but when I end up in a room with those that have an ego or attitude that clearly entered the room before they did (and hardly fitting through the door), they are on very thin ice. They'd better be damn good at their job for me to put up with that kind of crap.

And the ones that think they have pulled off humble well enough to fool me? Try again. I've got a bullshit meter like you wouldn't believe. Be genuine or find a new patient to pay for your malpractice insurance.

The ones that really irk me are the ones who think my medical care should be done on their schedule. I understand that there are a lot of patients and only so much time in a day. Tests take time, procedures can't always happen this instant, some insurance companies limit reimbursement for office visits, etc. But there is no reason under the sun that I should have to come into the office for a very simple test result that does not require a discussion of treatment options. And when you don't call my insurance company for days on end after promising to call the day I was in your office ... it is the last straw. You are now fired. You are not so special that my test results cannot be transfered to someone who actually feels like being responsive to patient needs.

While I'm at it ... when you are from country A, attended medical school in country B, and practice medicine here in the States with that kind of attitude ... I have every right to question your reputation, your credibility, and your medical record. If you don't like it, tough shit ... My ass in this chair means you are getting paid. I will gladly fill someone else's pockets that actually gives a shit about the person in the chair if you just can't be bothered.

(With rants like these, I may grow up to be just like Uncle Jimbo before I know it)

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Mom got into town on Friday and left on Tuesday ... driving me crazy as usual. It was actually a good visit but some major buttons kept getting pushed that I had a hard time not losing it over.

She and I have discussed the boundaries of our relationship and conversations but she doesn't seem to want to respect them. Yet, she can't stand hearing my dissenting opinion when she crosses those boundaries. How hard is it to understand the concept of "if you don't want to hear my opinion, don't ask for it?"

We did go visit Monticello and see Thomas Jefferson's house. I had been once before, 5 yrs ago but she had never seen it. I have to say, the tour guides and their scripts have gone seriously downhill. The guides hardly had a pulse and their scripts were so entirely PC that it was offensive. But I'll get into that in another post later...

Mom and I also spent many hours over two days at fabric stores over the weekend in preparation for breaking in my new sewing machine. I managed to make a giant blanket for my sofa (since my living room is always so damn cold) and get part of a new window treatment for the dining room done. The rest of the fabric for the living room treatments had to be ordered so I'll have to work on them down the line somewhere. I've got fabric ordered for half my bedroom project and a good idea of fabrics that I'd like to use for the drapes ... assuming they match my new bedding that I will order once my gift card shows up in the mail.

Apparently I'm becoming a regular domestic diva ... who'd have thought?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:47 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I had to be out the door before sunsrise this morning - trust me, that was a ROUGH deal for me on this particular occasion. I have not needed to wake up and be functional at 5:15 in a LONG time. We're talking several years here people ...

Anyhow ... it flurried on my way in but I didn't feel too cold. I chalked it up to the new pants (which I looked cute in, btw)

Unfortunately, the combination of itchy dry skin, cold weather, moving around a lot, and not having washed the pants prior to wearing them literally chapped my ass.

So how was your day?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 04:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I was perusing Why I Hate DC (because, after all, there is a piece of me that will always and forever remain bitter that DC is in fact not my precious San Diego) and discovered the Washington Area Metro Transit Store.

Not a store where you buy farecards or something reasonably useful ... no, Metro merchandise. Crappy, retarded ass, tourist trap merchandise.

You have GOT to be kidding me with this. Seriously? Notecards with a picture of a bus or a train on the front? Ladies, they've got jewelry! And gentlemen, you too can own a pair of cuff links for just $92.00! And a flippin' wish list? Gift certificates ... ?

If tourons are really that willing to part with their money and advertise to their friends and family back home that they proudly rode our metro (ugh, I just wrote our metro ... ) I guess they deserve to be an extra $20 lighter.

But wait ... I can pick ANY metro stop I want (even the one I have to take home every night) and personalize a shirt, a coffee mug, or mouse pad with it!! Anyone stupid enough to wear a shirt with their metro stop written across it deserves to be stalked straight from where they stand, directly to their front door.

The stupidity of metro never ceases to amaze me

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 "Anyone stupid enough to wear a shirt with their metro stop written across it deserves to be stalked straight from where they stand, directly to their front door" LOL - very, very true. Good blog

Posted by: ChooChoo at January 31, 2007 10:39 AM (E+sqN)

2 Look how much London makes with their "Mind the Gap" merchandise. DC's Metro is the best I've ever dealt with.

Posted by: Ted at February 01, 2007 06:38 PM (+OVgL)

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