October 23, 2005
You're 5'9, Right? Good...
I was watching a really funny ... but strange ... movie tonight about a completely dysfunctional family that gets together for a funeral. One of the characters said the following line about her sister's lesbian wedding:
"It just won't work. Everyone knows that the only gay relationships that last are between people of the same height..."
Errr.... Whiskey . Tango . Foxtrot ?!? Over...
How the hell did that even make sense in her head? Like the similar height somehow better fascilitates lesbian hanky panky than it would between a pair of hot and sweaty straight people?
I just don't know...
And I don't about you, but the mental images from playing these scenarios out in my head has left me a tad hot and a smidge frustrated.
It's been a strange day...
Posted by: Princess Cat at
09:31 PM
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1
"left me a tad hot and a smidge frustrated."
Damn.
Posted by: dick at October 24, 2005 06:19 PM (XlQVK)
Posted by: elliott at October 24, 2005 06:21 PM (XlQVK)
3
... oh, my... well, hang in there, sis... the weekend is a'comin'.....
Posted by: Eric at October 24, 2005 10:54 PM (uHA2j)
4
Height has nothing to do with it.
It's all about torso-length.
Legs are irrelevant.
Posted by: Harvey at October 25, 2005 05:52 PM (ubhj8)
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October 22, 2005
National Nut Day
Today is National Nut Day.
I'm not sure if that means thank an almond ... the crazy lady talking to herself at the bus stop down the street... or the pair some of you are probably scratching...
Take your pick and celebrate the nut of your choice!
Posted by: Princess Cat at
02:37 PM
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1
Maybe it means give some head?
Just kidding...but somebody had to say it.
Posted by: Dorothy at October 22, 2005 05:00 PM (eFoAe)
2
like the guys need another excuse to show us the under carriage.......
Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at October 22, 2005 11:58 PM (1XnJ1)
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... heh heh... thanks for the heads-up, Cat...
Posted by: Eric at October 23, 2005 09:24 AM (uHA2j)
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What nut do they make beer from? :-)
Posted by: Harvey at October 23, 2005 12:14 PM (ubhj8)
5
Hey, I'm not... oh wait. Nevermind, I was.
Posted by: Ogre at October 25, 2005 02:54 PM (/k+l4)
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October 14, 2005
Equal Right To Pee
Yeah, you read the title correctly... I want an equal right to pee...
I went to lunch today with one of the other interns and while I was waiting for my sandwich, he looked for a bathroom. The shopkeeper noticed and told him it was down the hall. So the dude left and came back with no problem.
I decided using the bathroom was probably a good idea. So when he got back I went down the hall myself. The door was locked, so I waited. I didn't hear any noise. Then I decided that if someone really was in there all that time, I didn't want anything to do with the bathroom after them... So I walked back down the hall.
On my walk back to the food the other intern told me that the shopkeeper told him women need a key to use the restroom. The shopkeeper angrily gave me the key and glared at me for needing to pee... WTF?
I just bought food from the dude and he's going to be a dick about me needing to pee? When I got back he flat out said, men ok...women no - use a key.
Maybe I should just be happy I got the right to vote but you know, I think I deserve to pee just as much as a man does. I was so bitter over the deal I'm damn near ready to boycott the place all together.
Posted by: Princess Cat at
06:31 PM
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Piss on him. No, really! stand just outside the locked door and piss. I would.
Just Damn!
Posted by: Dax Montana at October 14, 2005 06:44 PM (L6TJC)
2
You should have kicked him in the nuts. Bastard. Fuck him. You should have asked to hold his pecker and when he whipped it out, smash the hell out of it with the nearest heavy object. I am a vicious SOB when it comes to people fucking around with innocent women.
:-)
Posted by: assrot at October 14, 2005 08:03 PM (ARCEn)
3
Most place I have found that require a key from the women's room and not the men's is due to the fact many men are dirtbags who sneak into the women's room. Hell my church back where I grew up had to go lock the women's room during the week after a guy tried to rape a woman in the bathroom.
Sure it may be a pain in the ass, but some times its done for reasons other than being a jerk.
Posted by: the Pirate at October 14, 2005 10:29 PM (Rg0+S)
4
Actually, I understand that concept completely as a matter of professional experience. Sure, it's a looong stretch to call what I do as a "profession", but just follow along.
When I dropped out of college, I worked for a time as a cleaner in a suburban mall. After that, I was a security guard and, for a time, a retail loss prevention investigator. All of these involved daily trips to the ladies room. You see, one of the oldest theif tricks in the book is for someone to wait in the washroom until an establishment closes. Once everyone goes home, they emerge and rob said establishment blind. In fact, my first girlfriend's brother was arrested for doing just that. Criminals are sneaky. Go figure.
What I've seen in ladies rooms have forever disabused me of the idea that ladies are dainty. I've actually seen, no kidding or exaggeration, blood and feces not only on the toliet seat, but the WALLS of a ladies room stall. And I've seen it more than once, too. On average, I've probably seen that three times a year for the last decade.
As you can imagine, it still shocks me beyond words. Not the fact that women can be just as sloppy as men, I've always known that. I'm stunned that these girls can so easily defy the laws of physics. As I understand it, when things such as blood and feces drop out of your bodies, they should continue a downward trajectory. Not so. Unless these girls are 25 feet tall, it sometimes manages to fly upward and horizonatlly in every direction. Every time I see it, I continued to be stunned from a scientific perspective.
Posted by: skippystalin at October 15, 2005 11:30 AM (+L2kz)
5
Ok, let me clarify... if there is a reason to lock one, there is a reason to lock both. If I have to ask for a key for whatever security or safety reason, so should a man. Otherwise I'm following Dax's advice and pissing on the man's shoe next time.
Posted by: Princess Cat at October 15, 2005 11:34 AM (D6/0a)
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My Sweet, Sweet Princess.
I left certain things unsaid for reasons of being politically correct and therefore, sexier. You'll notice that I spend very little time noting the security and safety necessity of locking bathrooms and great deal of time documenting the biohazards found within.
You'll also notice that I spent no time at all listing the horrors found in the men's room. There is -to use sitcom parlance - a very special reason for this. Men's rooms don't happen to be anywhere near as bad. Men ocasssionally pee on the seat, but I have yet to see one crap on the wall. I'm not saying that it's never happened, just that I've never seen it. I certainly expect someone's experience to differ from mine. But I am, after all, a professional.
I have this theory based on my experience. You see, women are societally expected to all dainty, cute and neat. This must be a rather inhibiting way to live one's life. And is true in most inhibiting lives, those living them seek opportunities to "play against type." It is also noteworthy that, again, in my experience, the nicer the neighbourhood, the messier the retail ladies rooms. I've worked in a store that housed a fucking methadone clinic and you could eat off of the toliet seats, should one be into such things. But in the more exclusive stores I've worked, you'd need a biohazrd suit to just enter the ladies room.
But I think we should move on from this potty talk and onto more heady matters. Matters like the various places on your anatomy that I'd like to devote my life to kissing. Let's leave this unpleasntness behind, shall we?
Posted by: skippystalin at October 15, 2005 12:40 PM (+L2kz)
7
My workplace is like that -- we're already on a security floor, and we have to pass through another secured door to get to our offices. The bathrooms are just off the elevators in a common area. Men? Get to rush right in. Women? Have a four-digit code to punch in to loosen the lock. Cruelty in the highest form, I say!
Posted by: dawn at October 16, 2005 09:30 AM (Dh1V0)
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October 05, 2005
Bushed
I had a lot of things I wanted to write about today but they are just going to have to wait...
a full day of work
paper writing in the library
the class from hell (in which I almost started a riot tonight)
I had planned on taking a bubble bath but after getting home at 10pm and prepping my clothes ready for tomorrow, I'm just too damn tired to do anything. And for some reason, my stomach is killing me. No more fun for me tonight.
More on the makings of the riot later...
Posted by: Princess Cat at
10:51 PM
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Oooh, a riot. I can't wait for the details!
Posted by: Dorothy at October 06, 2005 03:30 PM (MD3a9)
2
a riot can be caused by 2 things....well 3. Sore feet, a strong statement, or showing to much skin. I am guessing it was your feet?
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at October 07, 2005 12:55 AM (mP7bZ)
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