I was supposed to be spending the week with Dad while he was in town on business but life seems to have gotten in the way. I did manage to get an update on step-mom from him last night though...

Following a scary call Monday night rushing them to the hospital first thing the next morning they got good news and bad news.

Good news: They believe they got the whole tumor in the surgery.

Bad news: They want her to go through six cycles of chemo.

Good news: She should be able to do her treatments on an outpatient basis instead of being hospitalized like a couple of years ago.

I guess that works out to more good than bad, but still not much fun...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm officially creeped out now.

First, I woke up experiencing a panic attack this morning. Yeah, that was fun. Squeeze ... pound, squeeze ... pound, squeeze ... pound... Just what I wanted to wake up to this morning - my heart trying to leap out of my chest. To make matters worse, I have no idea what the panic was about or how it was triggered.

Then, after I had calmed down, my condo started vibrating. I laid on the bed and felt a gentle vibration get stronger, then the windows kicked in. It lasted for close to 45 continuous seconds. It stopped rattling for a few seconds before there was another jolt and a little more vibrating. It really felt like a minor earthquake. It lasted too long and there wasn't enough noise for it to have been a truck outside. On some level it made me feel better, like I had a little piece of home keeping me company. But then I just felt like a crazy psycho when USGS didn't have any earthquake data in the area.

Next I opened up my e-mail to a message from an ex ... saying things weren't so good in his life and that hearing about my new life would cheer him up. He's random like that. At least once a year or so he is good for a 'why do I continue being such a dumb asshole' message sent my way.

I tried to get on track for the day and I didn't get too far before I was interrupted again. I was expecting a phone call... but not from him...

That's right, another ex. He 'thought I had left a voicemail last night' that said I needed to talk to him. Convenient how he was just bitching about his drama with the psycho chicks in his life.

I think I need to crawl under a rock for the rest of the day. I'm not sure I want to know what random life-test is lurking around the corner. This time it is a conspiracy for sure...I just know it...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Rocks can be fun. I'll hide with ya!

Posted by: Ogre at September 07, 2005 02:04 PM (/k+l4)

2 NEVER talk to strangers, or ex's...even if they bring candy

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at September 08, 2005 10:00 AM (iySL4)

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It was a little too warm
It was a little too light out
The celing fan's light fixture was insistant for attention

With the bulbs adjusted and the glass tweaked...
There was a patterned hum as the blades rotated

It was a little too uncomfortable
It was a little too wrong
The tossing and turning refused to take the night off

My insomnia has returned, in full force.

I woke up this morning far earlier than I wanted to and on the verge of tears. Just before waking up I was dreaming of an old job and re-experiencing the frustrations of working there. The nice people were all still there but the manager had been replaced with the former district manager who was worse, ten fold.

In the dream...
I was packing small bags with my things - the equivalent of cleaning out my desk. It was understood that I was quitting. The layout of the store was different but most everything else was the same. There was a snitch that made career points at everyone else's expense. The top management was rude and abrasive. In the midst of me doing my job and her in the middle of another task, she dropped everything came over to me. She ripped my name badge from my neck and demanded to know where I had gotten it. She made clear that if I wanted to quit, she didn't need me in her store for another minute longer. I snatched the name badge away from her and retreated to the break room. She continued to make comments as she walked to the back of the store to go to her office. It was too much for me to take and I screamed at her as she walked away, "if you didn't exist, this would be the greatest job on earth. I don't understand why you are even here." At which point I broke into tears in the break room and was consoled by another worker.

I couldn't fall back asleep after that. I was too upset and too disturbed by my childish reaction in the dream.

Yet another good night's sleep has managed to escape.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 09:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 I wish I could interpret dreams -- this one sounds important. Then again, it could just be random thoughts of a pepperoni- and beer-addled mind...

Posted by: Ogre at September 06, 2005 09:56 AM (/k+l4)

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It was a long day of post-op recovery for step-mom. Surgery takes a physical toll that catches up with a patient by day's end.

Daughter 1 and daughter 2 each drove down to Cedars this afternoon. Step-mom was boosted by that, as well as a personal call from her senior physician.

I stayed here last night at Cedars on a cot in step-mom's room. I think tonight
I'll head home for a few hours rest and to see that all is in good shape at home.

We're anticipating a visit by Dr. K - senior staff - tomorrow morning at 0700. Dr. K is a gem, a valuable resource for the women's health care initiative.

We're feeling fortunate, blessed to be surrounded with such great personal
and professional support, together with equally good news at this juncture.

Thanks again to all.

Best,

Dad& step-mom

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:45 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I called Dad last night to see how everyone was holding up after the surgery and found him still at the hospital, just where a devoted husband belongs when his wife has been through a major ordeal. Step-mom was in a private room in the hospital where she would recover for the next three or four days and Dad was awaiting a cot so he could sleep there with her. Her daughters were no where to be found.

Before he left they repeatedly pestered my father about where he would spend the night. Why? Because the very day their mother underwent surgery to remove internal organs and potentially deadly tissue these girls were plotting to throw a party in the parent-free house. Their excuse for not visiting was traffic...

It is labor day weekend and I'm sure my dad will spend a lot of it in the hospital keeping his wife comfortable and in good company. That leaves these satan-spawn to throw as many parties as they like. And if they are good at one thing it is answering when an opportunity like that knocks.

I don't know why I am shocked at this turn of events but my step-sisters never cease to amaze me. At 21 and 17 you would think that by now they would have developed some level of sensitivity and maturity. Maybe normal people of their age would have, but not these pieces of trash.

When my mom had outpatient surgery to remove a malignant mass I made sure I was not only in town but at the hospital with her before, during, and after. She didn't spend a moment of the few hours she was in the hospital outside of surgery without me. My brother was there for most of the time and her friend was there a good portion of the time as well.

My mom and I have our differences and have fought more often than not throughout my life ... but when it came right down to it, being there was more important than anything else I could have had going on in my life. I guess the same is not true for the step-sisters.

I am so beyond disgusted right now that there aren't words...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It has been confirmed that my step-mom has been attacked by cancer for the third time in her life. Her first two battles were with the same type. This time she is facing an entirely new monster.

Under the advisement of some of the best oncologists in the country, her first line of treatment is a hysterectomy - scheduled for tomorrow. Whether she will need additional treatment has not been decided at this point.

No family should have to suffer the pain of cancer as much as hers has.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:31 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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