I keep waiting for my official retard certificate to arrive in the mail.

Seriously...

... its coming ...

I somehow managed to trip over a ceiling fan this morning and bleed all over my bathroom floor. It was pure genius, I'm telling you. At fucking 6 am.

My first instinct looking at the wound was stitches. I later convinced myself that I had overreacted and a clean cut like that could heal itself with the help of a butterfly closure.

My first panic was getting blood on the carpet. My second was at keeping the swelling down so that my toe rings didn't have to be cut off. I have priorities here people.

I landed in urgent care after work because as much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed a tetanus shot. I was almost 2 yrs overdue as it was. Of course they wanted to look at the wound. And of course ... what had done such a great job of knitting back together came gaping open and bleeding everywhere in the hallway as I took the bandage off.

Fuck.

I am now the proud wearer of stitches. Just in time for a long weekend.

I'm telling you ... that card is on its way. It is in the mail.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:38 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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