Standing Outside The Fire

After much prodding from my dad, I finally broke down and bought one of those fire safes that's supposed to offer a half hour of protection for whatever items of value that you can fit in the heavy little sucker.

I have always seen the value in them, to a degree, but I never really thought I had anything worth putting in one. Boy was I wrong. I'm finding all kinds of important things to put in there.

And graduation money I forgot I had ... score!

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Would You Be The Soundtrack of My Life?

I took a page out of the blogosphere's very own Mr. Hospitality's book this weekend and hosted a blogmeet at home.

It was a fantastic turnout. The usual suspects graced my humble abode, I finally got to meet Professor Chaos, Sabre (and her friend), Lysander's other half, and even host a couple tykes.

Of course there was more food than anyone could possibly eat ... cuz duh, feeding people is what I do (wings anyone?) ... plenty of interesting conversation to go around ... the obligatory twat talk that comes with having a gyn as a friend ... and an amazing recitation of Office Space

I think I just might do this again, what do you say guys? I'll even try to plan a surprise guest for the next one.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I Ain't Gonna Worry and I Don't Have To Be Anywhere

I wish I could say it ain't my day to care, but I'm not there just yet. Give me a couple more days, hopefully just til mid-day tomorrow, and I'll be set for a while.

I came home to a bunch of last minute fix-its that I should have taken care of before I left, but I put them off. So today is a bit of panic, but I think I have myself organized well enough that the stress is probably unwarranted.

The burial was very brief and very good for all of us. Her casket was perfectly her, elegant and simple, cream with pink accent flowers painted on it. The cemetary was beautiful with flowers decorating nearly every gravemarker as far as you could see. And greatest of all, she is back with her son Kevin that died as a young child.

Times like the past couple of days in rural Indiana are almost enough to make me wish I were even less of a city girl. Friends of hers opened up their home to the entire family and friends they'd never met. We all had supper and dinner together. We had the freshest garden food and desserts only country hands could dream of making. There was a love and tenderness among strangers that I can't say I've felt in any recent memorable past.

It was exactly what her small town soul would have wanted.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:51 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I Don't Think Guests Are Coming This Time

Ok, Kiddies ... I'm out ... again

Not for quite as long this time, but for another funeral ... ugh

Be good and send some happy thoughts to AWTM, she's having a shitty time of it today (hehe, sorry ... I couldn't help it ...)

I don't think you'll be graced with any guests this time. Sorry.

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Alone and Far From Home I'll Find You

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I kept having dreams about people being mad at me. I woke up feeling like I wanted to cry.

Then I found out that my last childhood pet went blind over the weekend. My poor kitty is finally finding his end after two years with kidney problems. He will be at the vet this afternoon, but I don't think it will be long before my mom puts him down.

It just seems like death after disappointment after death after disappointment after death after disappointment these days.

So I'm stuck sitting here today torn between feeling sorry for myself that so much saddness could be dumped on one family in such a short period of time and being grateful for having my saddness group itself in waves instead of having to face it time and time again.

Some days just call for a drink

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More Loss

I just found out that my great aunt lost her battle with heart trouble this morning. She was on the transplant list, but that miracle didn't come soon enough for her.

And a few days ago, a girl I used to call my best friend lost her dad after a long struggle with lukemia.

It has been a tough year.

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I Dig The Attitude & How You Actin' Like You Own The Bar

Oh IÂ’m sorry, my name is Travey and IÂ’m pretty much a big deal
Oh, you never heard of me?
Hmm, that sounds absurd to me.

Or NOT.

Honestly, this pompous crap dudes pull could not be more of a turn off. Oh and by the way, it doesn't pass for confidence either.

I don't care what kind of cell phone you have, who's on the other end, where your business card says you work, who your last girlfriend was, what kind of car you drive, or who made your clothes ... okay?

If your entire identity can be summed up in a series of commercial labels, do yourself a favor and keep walking ... cuz I ain't havin one more minute of it.

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Gotta Pick Myself Up, Where Do I Start

I think here would be nice ...

Miss you, LJ!

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Empty Houses

I'm bored ... and RSM isn't home ...

I'm having way more fun blogging over at his place ... go check it out

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Move Over Godfathers

When I was a kid, I loved taco pizza from Godfathers Pizza. Within a 50-mile radius, I canÂ’t find a damn one of those restaurants now. So a couple nights ago, I endeavored to make my own Â…

Taco Pizza
1 unbaked pizza crust (from a can, cuz IÂ’m lazy)
1 sm can of Mexican tomato sauce (Goya or Pato, slightly spicy)
1 lb lean ground beef
1 packet taco seasoning
¼ cup water
2 cups shredded cheese (Mexican blend pref)
3-4 sm handfuls of white corn chips, lightly crushed (not thin restaurant style ones)
1-2 cups of fresh style salsa (like pico de gallo)
1 handful of chopped tomatoes
1 can sliced black olives
Shredded lettuce, enough to cover the whole pizza

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Line a jellyroll pan/cookie sheet with sides with foil and lightly spray with nonstick spray. Gently press pizza dough into the pan, attempting to create sides that will hold the toppings in. Bake for 8 minutes (Follow the specific instructions on the pizza crust of your choosing).*

While the crust is baking, brown ground beef. Add seasoning packet and 1/4c of water. The powdered seasonings will need to dehydrate, so add more water if necessary, but the meat should not end up with much liquid.

Remove pre-baked crust from the oven. Pour Mexican tomato sauce onto crust and spread evenly to the edges. Repeat with the seasoned meat mixture. Sprinkle 2/3 of the cheese evenly as the next layer. Add a layer of crushed corn chips. Sprinkle about half of the remaining cheese over the chips. Return the pizza to the oven for another 6-8 minutes, or until crust is brown and cheese is bubbly.

Allow the pizza to sit and cool for a few minutes before continuing.

Spread salsa over the top of the pizza, taking care to separate the salsa from its liquid. Top the salsa with a dense layer of shredded lettuce. Add chopped tomatoes and black olives, to taste. Finish with the last bit of shredded cheese.

Cut and serve. For an extra bit of spice and taco flavor, top slices with a dash of hot sauce. Also good is a hint of ranch or sour cream.

I promise, you will not be disappointed by this pizza.** It wasnÂ’t GodfatherÂ’s exactly but it was so tasty I donÂ’t care. And it totally kicks ass cold the next day!

*For a thicker crust, use a smaller pan. Using a pizza stone, deep dish pan will work just fine. If your crust starts as a ball of dough, make the pizza whatever shape you like – being careful not to overwork it.

**Remember, its pizza Â… you can make it however you like your pizza because there are not rules in this game. Try adding diced chilis to the meat or hot sauce to the tomato sauce or jalapenos to the salsa for more kick.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:50 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Life Is Perfectly Still

It dawned on me this evening as I sat here wondering what to do with myself in the midst of a summer thunderstorm Â… it has been six months Â… to the day.

No matter how many times I fly into town, make the trek to the house, sleep on the small, uncomfortable bed in the back bedroom, have an unhealthy breakfast in the kitchen, and open the window while I shower because there is no exhaust fan, it still feels like nothing has changed.

It isnÂ’t until I walk into the living room and it seems oddly quiet that I notice something is amiss. When I walk into the master bedroom to investigate, I remember what it is. The police scanner is turned off. It has been off since February. No one is listening to the local boys in blue or their trouble making counterparts.

The tall, important looking bed is scattered with my dadÂ’s papers and clothes. The back supporting pillows have been tossed aside, onto the floor. The folded blanket from the foot of the bed is in a pile on top of a chest nearby.

She is not propped up, resting in bed, crocheting something ornate. All of the signs of her Â… her essence Â… have been removed from her most personal and private place.

Then I know she is gone.
more...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I DonÂ’t Blame You For Being You, But You CanÂ’t Blame Me For Hating It

A friend told me today, “every family is like a soap opera,” which is probably true. He’s a smart guy so I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about. It made me feel better to a point, but I’m still reeling from this whole Dad situation.

I am confrontational. I say things that people donÂ’t want to hear. I get that.

I am emotionally impatient. I try to avoid sweeping things under the rug because they always come back, usually with a vengeance.

I want to deal with things when they happen. I want to nip it in the bud. I want it done and over with. Not swept away and “forgotten” only to be dredged up and piled upon.

I want to talk about miscommunications, misunderstandings, mistakes, and missteps. If I donÂ’t see the other side and they donÂ’t see mine, the problem will become chronic, I promise you.

I believe in accountability and responsibility. I will call people out on it, whether they like it or not. Generally they donÂ’t. ThatÂ’s fine.

I am overly honest. I am straight to the point. I am hard to take. I know this.

But to call me hateful, and to say I am mean-spirited is just plain imaginary. They are daggers of untruth for the sole purpose of inflicting pain (mission accomplished) and the words of a man with nowhere to go, with stones enough only to run away.

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Mark the Places in My Book With Photographs We Never Took

Tonight is one of those nights that I am SO glad I have kept my blog away from family eyes. It a night filled with rediculous, unnecessary drama and thus blaring music aimed at drowning out the overabundance of anger I have toward my family right now.

I am convinced that maturity is entirely lost on my family members ... entirely

I wrote an e-mail to my brother asking for his address and got this in response:

Why does this matter to the Feds - are we even still related? ArenÂ’t you legally emancipated from this family yet? I havenÂ’t heard from you since your graduation - it would be nice to know what GF and I got you for your birthday . . .

IÂ’m still here when you figure out that IÂ’m not the enemy.

Now let's recap here ...
It is totally normal for my brother and I to go months without making contact with one another. We talk regarding holidays, family events, and when we will be in the same town together. We don't have a sharing, chatty relationship. What we know about the others business we learn through our parents. Its been this way for years. Why is it suddenly abnormal now?

And I'm pretty sure the phone and email work both ways. I don't recall leaving a communication unanswered. So, he's pointing a finger without having made an effort ... nice ...

Also of note - The last time I saw my brother was when he was flipping me off on the way out of town, following one of his temper tantrums that had carried over from 24 hours prior.

I think this left-field douche move would be one of many reasons we are not closer. But where do these moves come from? Dad, for one. more...

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Headed For Court

I've made it back from Kansas City, safe and sound ... somewhat mentally worse for wear, but better in others. It was a rough week all around. Some of the family are still fighting with various stages of decomposition, I suppose you could say. Too much run around, too much lecturing, too much fighting, and too many tears.

Four days was plenty long enough - I left with an eye twitch (which commonly happens)

The good news of all of this is that we are now officially headed for court and I have an approximate date by which I get to see this murderous ugly mug go behind bars with a sentence on his head

Full story below the fold more...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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rideout arousal

well, tonight's the night. the culmination of all that is right in my world. tonight my fetish takes on new heights.

for all of you who don't read me, let me back up a step. i am a copaholic. there is no cure. it is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad problem to have. you might ask how one finds themselves with such a pestiferous affliction, and i might tell you. but you'll have to ask nice, or use a little force, or if all else fails a round of good cop/bad cop will definitely get me singing like a canary.

what were we talking about? oh yeah, men in blue. it wasn't always like this. when i was younger, and up to no good, i really didn't enjoy the company of peace officers. if one were to pull me over then, my whole body would tremble in panic. more than just anxiety, there was a paranoia that came from knowing i was up to no good. that's right, i deserved more than a ticket and i knew it, so getting pulled over was never a pleasant experience.

not so anymore, now i'm impassioned by the lights and sirens--even when they aren't coming for me. the throbbing has moved south (i know, gross, but i speak the truth).

here's the short list of police turn-ons, you are welcome to add to the list in the comments:
1. they talk in code--women LOVE to talk, men don't. but cops, they're all about talking: here i am, here's where i'm going, here's what's happening, and here's what i'm going to need you to do. always communicating, rowr. 10 this and 10 that, oh yeah!
2. TWO sets of handcuffs! hey, if that doesn't do anything for you, check your pulse.
3. uniform. dark and buttoned down. yeah, even the ups man scores points in this category, but no uniform screams out to estrogen like a deep blue crisp collar and the bling of the badge.
4. night stick--being approached by a muscley lawdog with a giant phallus tucked in his belt, nuff said.
5. gun--appropriate at the jail or mcdonalds, they're always armed.
6. they put the refuse of society away-- ask any wife and the number one thing she'll tell you her husband does is take out the trash. cleanliness IS godliness and nothing cleans up a town like caging a bad guy. hawt.

oooof. i better get on with life. i've got a rideout with the 5-oh this evening, a qualifying chapter in my town's citizens' police academy. what were they thinking when they offered me membership? they did ask in the application process if i prefered to be called a nickname. it was tough, but i neglected to let them know that my good friends call me "copsucker".

ya'll be safe and be good now, or i'll come and get ya and make you comply.

Posted by: shoe at 10:45 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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In The Hands of Sickies

As I can tell, the sickie ones are going to be the primary watchers of the Cat House while I'm gone. Shoe has offered to check in on them from time to time, just to make sure no one dies on my couch or anything.

I've left plenty of DVDs (AWTM requested Avengers episodes, in case anyone was wondering), the vaporizer running, juices in the fridge, plenty of ice cream and popcicles in the freezer, chicken soup for their tired souls, and some tea to soothe their worries away.

So, I'm off to face Kansas ... and I leave you in the hands of the sickies ... hopefully everyone will be feeling better by the time I get back.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:35 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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HelloGoodbye

With the obvious negative mood I've been under, I went looking for something to make me smile and bounce around my room like I so love to do.

I discovered the boppy, sometimes silly sounds of HelloGoodbye.** It was the first track, Here (in your arms), that sent me looking for them.

When I went looking for something mindless, it fit the bill perfectly (well at least on the first couple tracks) ... so I've been listening to them off and on the past two days.

If you're anything like me and need a stupid girl moment, check these boys out.


**Purevolume.com has a wide variety of music and genres where you can listen to full tracks for free. Well worth the look if you want to discover something beyond mainstream radio.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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That White Trash Loser

I was doing laundry most of the afternoon and trying to mentally prepare for my trip, procrastinating on the packing thing because I hate doing it oh so much.

I'm discovering how sketched about seeing this criminal for the first time in person I really am ... almost six months to the day after he commited what I will always consider murder.

My family has seen him before, but I was unable to fly when the previous court dates were held. I have seen a picture of him, so I know what to expect ... a total white trash loser ... but that in person thing is just so much more powerful than a photo.

I couldn't hardly get out of bed this morning and I broke into tears tonight just thinking about how guarded I will have to be over the next several days.

I guess the stress of questioning the competency of the prosecution, anticipating the face-to-face I know I need to have, and psyching myself for this kind of family time is finally building up ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Its Open

I'll be leaving town again this week to handle some Grandma stuff and all those lovely legal battles going on. I typically don't blog around family ... simply because they are snoopy and have no business nosing around these parts.

That is going to leave the Cat House a little empty and unoccupied.

So, I'm tossing out an open call ... who wants to hold onto a set of keys and keep her feeling lived in while I'm gone?

**I've already been rejected once ... don't make me bust out the sad face ...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Disconnects

Do you ever have one of those mornings where you just can't get your fingers to type the things that your brain is thinking?

I typed the correct username and incorrect password three times this morning ... in a row. I was thinking of the correct password, but my fingers kept autopiloting to the keys for a different one. Three different incorrect passwords, I might add.

As it was happening, I thought to myself, "why am I typing the wrong password?" But my fingers kept right on going ... they even jumped on the enter key before I could reign them in.

I think I must have a loose wire or something ... my brain needs a little jiggle.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:24 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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