September 10, 2008

No matter where IÂ’m at I canÂ’t pretend IÂ’ve found something better than where IÂ’ve been

Dear Verizon Wireless,

I have lived in the same proximity for the last four years and it wasn't until I upgraded to the "fabulous" EnV2 that I had problems.

Ridiculous numbers of dropped calls. And never in the same place twice. I'm talking like 4 dropped calls during one conversation.

You replaced my phone, it still doesn't work.

You moved me to tier two tech support, it took over a week to get a response when you promised 24-48 hours.

The answer - marginal coverage area.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I've lived here for four years with no problems and now, after I get one of your "high end phones," you want be to believe that part of the Washington metro area - in which you have repeaters in even the metro tunnels - is really a marginal coverage area?!?

Bite me, Verizon

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September 08, 2008

Well I heard the news that you were back in town
Just passinÂ’ through to claim your lost and found

Overheard on the bus as the door opened at a stop:

"Nice talking to you. I really hope you call."


Uhm... really? Did scuzzy guy just hit on creepy frigid lady? On the bus?

Wow.

I bet you stand a really great chance, dude.

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August 21, 2008

Run Baby, Run ... Don't Ever look Back

I am once again in massive cleaning mode ... I've shredded three trash bags full of things and probably come up with about half as much straight trash. And I'm not done yet.

I keep coming across a diary of sorts that I kept during a relationship long since dead and gone. Actually (unfortunately), it is less of a diary and more of a self-therapy notebook. It is full of times when I ran away to cry, he lied to me, I needed a way to verbalize my frustrations with the failing partnership, etc. Truthfully, its a pretty painful memory of how stupid I was. I have no idea if that guy ever found it, read it, or even knows that it exists. I suppose it doesn't really matter though. In any event, I have come across it each time I've gone through one of these phases and I've never thrown it away.

Here's my question dear readers:

Is this one of those keep because you'll want to reflect on your life when you're 85 kind of things or one of those, good riddance to bad rubbish kind of things? Is it a helpful reminder of what it felt like to be that stupid and what not to ever accept in my life again?

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August 04, 2008

This Time Please Someone Come Rescue Me...

Dear Self,

Chips dipped in cottage cheese does not equal a sufficient or balanced dinner.

And the two cookies and handful (s...) of reeces pieces still count, even though no one saw you eat them.

Oh, and wearing those athletic shorts around the house while trying out your new running shoes does not count as exercise.

Just FYI ...


--Self

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August 01, 2008

Still Caught Somewhere Between a Boy and a Man

Have you ever been riding down the road and find yourself conflicted about how much you should care that someone else is about to smack the center divider?

Um, probably not. Let me explain...

My brother just told me he is going to propose to his girlfriend when they go away next weekend (they celebrate the anniversary of the first trip they took together, even though they weren't dating then).

I should be happy for him, right? Right, I should ... but I'm not. I think he's making a mistake. A big one. It isn't really even about his girlfriend anymore. He's just too young, naive, and immature. Although, to be frank, I think the pressure is from her. The P word (pregnant) has been whispered a few times in the last year so I think they have had some scares and she is anxious to have it be more than a scare. Which really is the scariest part ... my brother, a dad ... those poor children. I feel bad for his dogs ... I can only imagine how someone as screwed up as he is will screw up a kid.

Do I at least get points for feeling bad that I'm not happy for him?

Probably not enough to outweigh the bitchy, selfish things I started thinking ... am I going to have to use my precious vacation time for this? will there still be enough money for when/if I get married?*

But back my driving analogy (I don't want to hear about how ironic that is)...

I feel like my brother is that car that is headed straight for the center divider. He has focused so hard, for long, on being my dad's shadow that I think he is blindly following my dad's driving without realizing he's headed for the accident of his life. I know I should put on the happy face and just be another car on the road ... I'm not in the car with him, I'm not going to hit that wall with him ... but he's my brother ... shouldn't I care? Isn't there some kind of familial moral obligation to keep people from doing stupid things? But maybe he'd have to care what I think before that becomes effective ...

Honestly though, as awful as this is going to read in writing, I don't really care what my brother does with his life. I don't miss him and dread seeing him at family events. I gave up on a relationship with him until he grows up because he is so much the proverbial gnat at my picnic. He never wants to hear what I actually think (I know because he's pissed when it isn't what he has scripted me to say), but will ask me what I think about things like this.

To keep peace with the rest of the family, I think a silent smiley face will be in order. Any great advice on how to put/keep that smiley face on?**


*my brother WILL be asking my dad to pay for some of the wedding and my brother knows no such thing as the word no or a budget)

** beyond just not giving a shit, I can probably manage that one on my own

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July 30, 2008

Everytime We Touch I Get This Feeling ...

For whatever reason, commuters have chosen this week to flood the evening buses. I'm talking standing room only, multi-bus-long lines at transfer points (especially the metro). That may explain my new found, uh, "friend" today.

I was sitting in one of the seats that faces the aisle of the bus (as opposed to facing the front of the bus), talking to my coworker in the row next to me, minding my own business, and I noticed ... my space was being encroached upon.

Ordinarily on an overly crowded bus, this is common and a slightly annoyed look reminds the offender that they should stay within their own space. Hey, it works. (I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that I am generally several inches taller than said offender or have a slightly annoyed face that also says, "Do I look like I'm going to let that slide?" They just stop ... What? I've never done bodily harm to anyone on the bus ...)

That technique did not work so well today...

At first, because I was trying to talk to my friend, I tried to ignore it. But the encroachment kept on coming... Mr. Hoodie next to me fell asleep and was trying to use me as his personal shoulder pillow!

I kept shifting toward my friend but one can only move their upper body so far in one direction without looking like they are trying to cut one, tipping over, or ripping in half. So, he ended up square on my shoulder like we were new best buddies. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, he woke up, lifted his head, and tried to mutter some type of "excuse me" or "sorry" ... I couldn't really tell ...

Sing it with me everyone ... AWKWARD!

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July 27, 2008

Move Over Jen Lancaster
I Can Write Long Subtitles Too

The more I use my wii fit, the more I think I should rename my blog to "Confessions of a Fat Ass: how a slightly blubbery girl comes to the realization that there really isn't muscle hiding under there"

Once upon a time, I was a girl with a fair amount of strength. Um, apparently ... not so much anymore ...

Sitting in front of a computer all day, every day has done more damage that I previously realized. I am facing an uphill battle ...


and Wii fit, you evil bastard ... I hate you for calling me out when I cheat at yoga ...

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July 19, 2008

If You Realize What I Just Realized

Lesson of the day:

It is worth paying a professional to do the job right when one wants their armpits waxed.

Yes, I tried to do this myself ... and failed ...

Luckily, I didn't injure myself but I did end up with a bunch of sticky purple wax to clean up and significantly more hair left than one would expect after a wax job. Is there a more coordinated woman out there that has managed to do this at home successfully?*

*If I were awesome enough to have a gay following like Tori Spelling or Jen Lancaster, I would almost expect this answer to come from some fabulous tranny that knows how to dress with style miles beyond me. But, I'm not that awesome ...

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July 18, 2008

I Need A Lover That Won't Drive Me Crazy

Does anyone else find it wrong that I need a blanket to survive a conference room but a fan to survive my desk?

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July 16, 2008

Yes Way Jose ...

For anyone that likes Thai food but doesn't really know how to cook, Trader Joes is your new best friend. I just finished making (and eating) an awesomely easy Thai dish with four ingredients. FOUR! (mostly)

1 bag of Thai seasoned green beans (Trader Joes)
1 package of Thai seasoned baked tofu (Trader Joes)
1 large chicken breast
1/4 onion, sliced

Throw the chicken in a hot non-stick pan and get a good sear going. Toss in the sliced onions and a splash of wine. Add in the green beans and follow the directions on the bag. After adding the sauce, add the tofu and gently toss. Your dinner is now DONE!

Now, I said mostly four ingredients because I do gussy up my meat a little when I make asian food. I thinly sliced the chicken, sprinkled it with some corn starch, splashed it with some white wine, and let it sit there for a bit before I threw it in a hot pan. Of course, salt and pepper are required as well. And I did de-glaze the pan with a splash of white wine before the green beans went in ...

but still ...

that's mostly only four ingredients!

I am now a Trader Joes convert

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July 14, 2008

Yes, that is the sound of the cell door slamming shut ... again ...

Official word has finally arrived:

"For the forgoing reasons we affirm the conviction against Mr. X for first-degree involuntary manslaughter the first degree and leaving the scene of an accident."

While the language in the ruling doesn't make a whole lot of sense ... it doesn't change that the shmuck is in jail for a minimum of almost 12 more years.

I expect to go through at least one more round of appeals but we're doing ok so far... a new trial would just give the prosecution to fix the errors of the last one and do it better the second time.

'scuse me while I go celebrate...

Disturbia (FuLL) - Rihanna

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June 22, 2008

But I Can't Spell It Out For You
No It's Never Gonna Be That Simple

What exactly does it say about me that I found myself so identifying with the web excerpt of Tori Spelling's new book, "sTORI TELLING," that I not only want to read it immediately but I want to buy another copy and throw it at my dad's head? (it is hardcover...)

I didn't grow up in a 10,000 sq ft house, or have artificial snow in my Los Angeles back yard, or have personal visits from Santa ... but I did grow up in a house where my dad - one that operates as if money = love - most definitely dominated. I'm not so sure that he dominated out of force or if it was for the reason that my mom was just more meek back then. It didn't really dawn on me as a child that objects and material items were the expressions of love that I received. I had that realization many years later.

In fact, that realization was the epicenter of the emotional melt down I had with my father less than two years ago. Unfortunately, he still doesn't get it. I cried on the phone, I sobbed in person, and begged for him to have an emotional relationship with me instead of being a bank. He didn't get it. Every time I try to explain how uncomfortable it is to be around my father for long periods of time and how painful it is to hear the words "I love you" from my father, I cry all over again. (Imagine how quickly that works as a buzzkill at happy hour ...)

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the monetary assistance. But how good does it feel to live in a house your dad made happen when you know that at the end of a bad day, you don't have a friend to talk to in your dad? And how much worse does that feel when he comes to your house and has rarely a positive thing to say about the way you've chosen to furnish and decorate it?

I'm thinking a swift hardcover to the head might make a new kind of impact ...

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June 21, 2008

I've Got a First Class Ticket but I'm Blue as a Boy Could Be

The past month of so has left me feeling very overwhelmed by ... stuff ...

I can't even say it is because I am a terrible packrat (although, I admittedly am and really should join some kind of group therapy...).

I have ... things ... to the point that I want to just move and leave my entire house behind. Yet, when I get on a cleaning binge and get committed to "throwing all this crap away" ... I realize its not really just "crap" cluttering up my life. There are ... things ...

Power strips
Dog food
Cookbooks
Vases
Product manuals
Small appliances
Tools

Everything is useful and should have a home ... somewhere... But I feel like my life is slowly being swallowed by some kind of weird consignment shop of other people's things.

And did I mention I am in dire need of both a haircut and a pedicure? Its been over a year since I've had either. No, I'm not exaggerating ... May of 2007 ... how is any chick supposed to feel chicky with such negligent pampering?

This sucks

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May 30, 2008

Can I Have Some Of Your Cookies?

For anyone who is as glad to have it be the weekend as I am ... may this be the theme song to your weekend:


Scream - Timbaland Feat. Keri Hilson & Nicole Scherzinger

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May 25, 2008

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Because I rarely have anything positive to say on this stupid blog (withthe exception of telling you to read Jen Lancaster's books ... cuz everyone really should worship her funny) ...

Stop & Stare - One Republic

It dawned on me during a discussion last weekend that I am currently without passion. I do not have a goal, a driving force, or light in the oh so distant future of this shall we call tunnel I suddenly realize that I am in.

The question posed was: if I could have any job in the world, what would I do?

*blink* *blink*

Does professional lazy ass count as a real job?

Truthfully, I'd never be happy with that job. It is so not rewarding. In undergrad, the goal was to graduate and make a difference in the world. In grad school, the goal was to graduate and be part of the larger machine that just might make a difference in the world. Now? Meh. I'm too tired to make a difference in the world. How am I going to counteract that much stupidity and arrogance?

Yeah, yeah ... I know ... one day at a time ... one piece at a time ... eating an elephant one bite at a time and all that ...

And I have become a bit of a self-loather in my discouraged state. I hate people like me that have a seat instead of going on. Welcome to my vicious cycle. But I digress...

I cannot think of something that I am qualified to redirect my attention toward that doesn't already have people far more meaningful attacking it in ways that would make my effort pitiful and sad.

...I think I'm moving but I go nowhere...

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May 12, 2008

Quite possibly THE funniest woman on the planet


Jen Lancaster of jennsylvania

And yes, I told her that to her face tonight when she signed my copy of her third book.

Go read her books ... NOW! I don't care if you have to drag your ass to whatever skanky ass library your town has. If they don't have copies, beat the purchasing librarian with a copy of Kitchen Confidential from that smug prick Anthony Bourdain until he/she agrees to get you one.

Here's your handy-dandy, convenient checklist to make sure you don't forget to read a single side busting word:

Book One: Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office

Book Two: Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?

Book Three: Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer

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May 08, 2008

Find out what it means to me

Why on earth is it fashionable for people to wear pseudo-military uniforms/patches like they've somehow earned them?

Granted, the people on the tv programs that I watch that have done this are people that I find pretty annoying anyway ...

... but Padma? Seriously? You're the host of a cooking competition. I appreciate your nod to our service members but WTF??

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April 30, 2008

Everyone Around Me Thinks I'm Going Crazy...

It has been brought to my attention that for my poor blogging habits I am at risk of being deleted from the sidebar of blogs all across the world...

Ok, maybe not across the world ... but from one particular blog on the other side of the country at least ... (you know who you are)

Not only that, but I realize I have been a bad friend ...
and I don't really have the excuse of being too busy because, well ... I have no idea what I am so busy doing. *sigh*

Frankly, I think I'm just depressed that there is no DC Milblog Conference this year.

But I promise ... I haven't forgotten anyone and I miss you

free music




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March 10, 2008

I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, IÂ’m so glad that it's fine

Well ... since I'm actually going out tomorrow night, there's a chance people might stop by and read what I don't write here. I figure it should probably be some cryptically sad song lyrics. I can't really promise anything will be interesting though...

The biggest updates in my life? I have finally joined the Wii generation. In fact, I was actually able to purchase one two weeks in a row. (yes, I bought two ... no, they weren't both for me ...)

There are only two downsides to having a Wii (and I'm pretty sure there really are only two downsides to owning this gloriously beautiful machine).

First, life seems to understand that you now have a Wii and suddenly creates a list of responsibilities that you feel disproportionately more guilty for neglecting than you did before if you do not complete them before you begin wielding the awesome controller.

Second, you have to come off the money for the games ... F'ing nintendo. (I'm not cheap, I'm frugal!)


Other updates? I seem to have developed some type of kindness parasite. I think it is taking over the decision making sectors of my brain. In fact, I'm finding myself doing good deeds left and right. Making change for a guy on the bus, giving a woman back her glasses that she forgot on the train, freezing in line for and hour and a half for someone else's Wii since I knew she'd never get one ... I'm scared. Maybe we should set up a foundation in the name of finding a cure?

Oh, and I hate quotation marks. They should be banned from all written communication. Air quotes will be allowed to survive ... unless they are misused and the conversational airwaves become overrun with them. In that case, they must die as well.

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February 18, 2008

Two Years Later ... It's Still Raining

When I looked out today
And saw that the sky was gray
I thought about the way
You loved days like this

And driving in to town
It really started coming down
Bringing me back around
To all that I miss

It feels like it's rainin' you
It feels like it's rainin' you

I didn't even run inside
Or worry about staying dry
Besides theres nowhere I can hide
From these feelings now

Running down my face
Takes me to another place
I can't think of a better way to drown

It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you

If I had my way
It would do this every day
I would never see the sun
Because the closest I get
To holding you again
Is every time that sky opens up

It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you
It feels like it's rainin' you

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:08 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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