It's an awful day in politics, but there is still hope of a good day for so many outside of politics. The final three days of the big team competition for Valour-IT are counting down and there is a lot of money left to be raised.

Each team is shooting to raise $45,000 and the title of winner.

Do what our community is meant to do and give these guys more of a helping hand (literally) than you ever dreamed possible. Help us raise $180,000 (a sum buying more than 225 additional laptops).

On a selfish note: bringing team Marine into the lead would certainly bring a little extra sunshine to my day ... if you need help picking a team

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:25 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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As ArmyWifeToddlerMom has said, she did not sleep well, neither did I.

When I went to bed I was mostly ignoring the election game but I couldn't help noticing it looked like my team was in trouble**

The Virginia race was tight but at least Allen was on top when I shut everything down. Now Webb is claiming victory? And we have to wait until Thanksgiving for the official word?

And this Pelosi nonsense? I must be in a dream ... please let me be in a terribly, horrible nightmare ...

But Andi has things right with the silver lining ... we have a mission to make sure each and every mistake these fools inflict upon our country is loudly and widely publicized so that their true colors will show in time to keep them out of the Presidency in '08.

** For the asshat that like to leave halfwit political comments - my team is the Republican side

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:29 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I am ashamed of myself today - It is election day and I will not be voting...

Not voting goes against everything I believe in.

One of the many things that slipped through the cracks this year was updating my voter registration after the move. I almost got around to it several times ... but almost doesn't count in elections.

I will kick myself if the election does not go the way I want it to but I have no one to be mad at but myself. I didn't get my priorities straightened out in time and have relinquished my rights to those that did. I have offered the power to decide my community's laws to those using their freedom. I can only hope that enough of those people see the issues the same way I do.

Don't make the same mistake I did ... exercise your freedom, own your rights, and use the power this country gave you to make your community a better place.

Go vote today

UPDATE: (7:50pm)
I went to my polling place and I was able to vote after all! Thanks for the head's up, CalTechGirl!

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A post ... a post ... a post, a post, a post ...

I know there is one in here somewhere.

Mostly just the same things to bitch about:

- God does not want me to have a sofa (one store was out of business, one store was closed all weekend due to a power outage, one store didn't carry any furniture at all when they advertised they did, another store told me a completely different story than an alternate location of the same chain ... stupid furniture)

- My excitement for the day? A new vacuum! It does work well ... but seriously? This is my excitement?

This day has to get better

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My mom called last night.

Just shoot me now

She was her usual meddling self ... telling me how to handle work, that I wasn't being paid enough, have I considered what the opportunities for advancement are ... like she's got her own life under control.

Meanwhile, she's still at work at 8pm, in a job she hates, frustrated almost to the point of tears, not considering another job ... because she doesn't want to "quit for nothing"

Yeah, I'm just rushing to take your advice, Lady

So then the issue of the holidays rolls around. I have become the evil ogre of the family for saying I don't want to go back to Cali this year.

My brother is not worth traveling for - I get maybe an hour's worth of time from him when I'm in town. We can't make it through a meal without a text or phone call from his girlfriend or his friends wanting to go hang out. Thanks, but I don't need to fly all the way across the country so you can 'grace me' with your presence.

My dad, not worth going to Cali for, sad to say. His wife has been nixed from my life entirely and thus, why go out there for a holiday I can't share with him? I'll see him here, I'll see him in Kansas. That's all the room he makes for me in his life, so that's all he gets.

My mom is the only other reason to go ... she is offended that I don't want to go just for her. She is playing the pity card and making me out as the selfish one. Oh, and don't forget the this-is-all-your-father's-fault-for-divorcing-me-and-now-I'm-all-alone guilt card she is playing.

It was seven years ago ... MOVE ON!

Well here's the whole story (or why I don't feel like an ogre)

Her side of the family is having a Christmas celebration that I plan to go to. She doesn't know if she is going to go. I planned to see her there, the week before Christmas. Going to the trouble of flying half way across the country just doesn't seem worth it to her so maybe she'll go, maybe she won't.

And she never considered coming out here.

So as long as I have to fly and I have to make the effort, everyone is happy. The minute my feelings come into play, its bad guy city.

I say, peg me for an outlaw cuz relationships are a two way street.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:00 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Without those laptops from Project Valor-IT, there are men and women that can't readily answer the simple question, "Where you come from and where you wanna go this time?" that is being asked by a popular song these days.

Don't these folks deserve to be able to tell their story? To keep in touch with mom and dad far away? To Google whatever pops into their head just as much as you do?

You're damn straight they do.

Donate Here (On Behalf of Team MARINE, of course)

Or bid on signed copies Marines in the Garden of Eden or The Gulf War Chronicles by Richard S. Lowry - books that John at Op-For and CoInSide have put up to benefit Project Valor-IT without picking sides.

(Don't let the abject Zoomie generosity and dedication to the cause fool you ... Team Marine is the way to go when it comes to the service teams. We do more with less, 7 days a week.)

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Halloween in the new house was a huge turn out

Not one mob...

Not two groups...

Not three sets...

or even four families...

Big fat ZEE-ROW. Not a single kid to eat these four bags of candy that I really don't need to have added to my hips this month.

So, how many trick-or-treaters did you get?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 10:37 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 I guess the word got out on you pretty quick, eh?

Posted by: Ogre at November 01, 2006 11:02 AM (oifEm)

2 Ogre is a meanie! Anyway, not too many - two dozen or so in "packs" of 6 with parental escorts, but think that is because so many folks go to special events at church or school or the town hall. Seems like fewer every year. But those that came were well-costumed, and the little ones were cute as buttons!

Posted by: jck at November 01, 2006 11:28 AM (fRt6P)

3 uhm two. its pretty darn cold in KS this time of year.

Posted by: Shelley at November 01, 2006 12:37 PM (Mr51i)

4 we had 0 as well. Although that's probably because we live behind a security gate. Although, in the 7 years we've been married, we've only had a total of 4.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at November 01, 2006 12:45 PM (/vgMZ)

5 I had 50 and then I turned out the light after the collective were in bed...people kept ringing the bell about 100 times, and waking them... drove me wacky..'

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at November 01, 2006 05:21 PM (IVwWm)

6 We had about 75, which is way up from the last few years. I thought it might because we've had several new families with kids move onto the street this year. I also had just enough candy, and the last two kids got a few pieces each to finish off the bowl.

Posted by: Ted at November 01, 2006 07:36 PM (+OVgL)

7 None. Not a single one.

Posted by: jesse at November 02, 2006 06:56 AM (z1Syu)

8 ... zero.... and it was excellent....

Posted by: Eric at November 02, 2006 09:22 AM (NlzwQ)

9 ZERO...because we didn't have the flyer on our apartment door letting kids know we were giving out candy. I'd rather not invite little hellraisers to freely peep in my windows so they can tell their family members that I have stuff worth stealing. Plus, I refuse to give anything to this new "entitlement" generation.

Posted by: Dorothy at November 02, 2006 11:42 AM (pqJMZ)

10 I feel your pain. It was also my first Halloween in a new place/neighborhood/town, and I had no idea how many T-orTers to expect. I asked around, and people told me that I could get up to 150 little goblins! So, I prepared diligently... Yup, you guessed it. Not a single one. I am now doing my best to give candy away. Next year I'll buy candy but won't open the bag(s) until anyone shows up, so at least I can return it to the store!

Posted by: AnnaD at November 02, 2006 11:55 AM (TCXPd)

11 My doorbell rang twice. Both times it was my own kids. Go figure.

Posted by: Sticks at November 02, 2006 06:13 PM (Ak7WA)

12 I probably got a couple of hundred this year. That's about the usual turnout in my neighborhood. I spend about $50.00 on candy every year and rarely have very much left. Last year I only got about 10 trick or treaters but that was right after Hurricane Wilma and there was no power in all of Palm Beach County at the time. Halloween is my favorite day of the year.

Posted by: assrot at November 02, 2006 07:49 PM (ARCEn)

13 I got a bunch of them, including one that I got between the eyes. That was a lucky shot, though.

Posted by: zonker at November 03, 2006 09:39 AM (PrUNH)

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I just sat and listened to my voicemails that have built up over the last week. Only four this time. I guess it is odd that I avoid listening to voicemail but I don't avoid the phone when I hear it ring. I don't know what that is about really ...

I had saved messages the system wanted to delete, so I had to listen to them too. Then there were the messages that I had somehow skipped instead of saved or deleted. I guess I probably listened to 12 messages total.

It was ridiculously depressing.

Messages are the wake up call from the dull haze that something went wrong ...

I sat there and felt sorry for myself in the same moment that I hated myself. In one fraction of a second, it feels ok to still be upset ... to really not be back to normal ... to think about them and what I wish had been different. In one more fraction, I have such disdain for those feelings ... a hatred that I could be so consumed with something that pales in comparison to what so many others are going through.

I keep telling myself should feel touched that people are calling to see how I am doing and that I have made it home safely ... but that isn't the first feeling I get. I feel tired and heavy, aimless and misdirected, but most of all wasted. Everything I could be contributing to the world is going to waste. The energy I could be putting into my own life is trapped somewhere that I can't seem to find most days.

I want to be me again. I want to be the me that my friends love.
I don't know how to be this person ... but I can't get her to go away.

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It's that time of year again ...

The Annual Countdown to Veteran's Day, Project Valor-IT Fundraiser Weeks

Here's the way this works...
For the next two weeks (Oct 30 to Nov 10) teams representing each of the 4 military services will compete against each other in an attempt to raise the most money for Project Valor-IT - an organization that donates voice activated laptops to members of the military that have been wounded and are unable to use conventional computer equipment.

Bloggers from around the 'sphere are joining up with their favorite service team (Go Team MARINE!) and recruiting as many civilians as they can to join their side of the fight (Go Team MARINE!) to bring awareness to this great organization.

So pick your poison join team Marines and have at it. Post flyers (found here). Tell your neighbors. E-mail your address book with the Project Valor-IT website. Ask your boss to match your donation. Get creative with it.

Keeping these guys connected to the world is one of the greatest things we can do. So join a team (Go Team MARINE!) and in the words of Blackfive, "be part of something big."

The Fine Print Details:
All donations are tax-deductible and eligible for matching funds from participating companies. All of the fine print and such to assure people this is legit can be found right here

And for those that like writing checks, send them to the address below and make sure they know you want the money to go to Team MARINE!

Soldiers' Angels
1150 N Loop 1604 W, Suite 108-493
San Antonio, TX 78248

Team MARINE:

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The wedding was ... um ... wedding-y

The reception was much better. One of the groomsmen forgot to stay behind for photos and then couldn't find the location where the photos were being taken, so they left him out entirely. We're still making fun of him for it. I did also meet a very fun couple that lives in PA ... so I'm hoping to hang out with them one of these weekends (maybe if I ever have that housewarming party, right?)

Today, I stumbled accidentally upon what I may have decided is my new sofa (I know, I know ... you've heard me say that before, but I mean it a lot more this time ... except for the price tag). They are asking $170 for delivery - frankly sounds to me like highway robbery. Other stores have quoted me less than half that for an equal number of pieces of the same size. And a 6-8 week wait for my custom fabric is not really very conducive to a warm and cozy (or comfortable) housewarming party.

And now, I am tired. Weddings and shopping are hard work.

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Amidst the height of my sofa dilemma ... which means I have looked and looked and am tired of looking and just want to buy something somewhat within my what-I-though-were-reasonable parameters ... I am off to a wedding.

Have I mentioned I not a big fan of said functions?

I'll be that girl in strappy shoes in 49 degree weather ... cuz 1) my shoe selection sucks, and 2) I just didn't give a crap enough to buy a special outfit for this wedding

Posted by: Princess Cat at 06:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Here's a pic of the new baby I'm thinking about putting some cash down for this weekend...

Go have a look

What do you think??

UPDATE:
I was not nearly as in love with the sofa once I visited it for myself. The angle across the corner was more severe than I thought and would make it tough for a tall person to crash for the night - although, probably doable ... and the fabric on it was a textured suede thingy - it was soft but kind of cheap looking and they kept telling me I couldn't clean it if I got something on it. The cushions can't be flipped over to spread wear - they velcro on. And it is only two pieces so it is entirely not modular.

The price is about my limit so, it may not totally be out of the running yet ...

UPDATE 2:
This comes in a sectional ... any thoughts??

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:35 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Looks like an Overstock.com commercial :-)

Posted by: Harvey at October 26, 2006 03:17 PM (L7a63)

2 IT looks comfortable enough to sleep on...and huge!! I like it much better than the brown... REd says... well it says you know what red says...

Posted by: Armywifetoddlermom at October 26, 2006 04:01 PM (4U2r0)

3 Red says, "Hey! You pickin' on my hair?" Looks pretty damn sweet!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 26, 2006 06:23 PM (PmJUQ)

4 I'm red with envy.

Posted by: Sgt Hook at October 26, 2006 10:11 PM (ZkBlA)

5 I like the red color. However, I do not like sofas where all the pillows have to be constantly readjusted. There is nothing comfortable about them. I vote for a futon for the sake of those crashing at your place

Posted by: Laurie at October 27, 2006 01:45 PM (YmcHY)

6 I agree with Laurie. You don't want a sofa that has "throw pillows" as the main part. You need the kind of pillows that fit into the sofa (without staying permanently attached or having to velcro to the back or something) like puzzle pieces...you know that rectangle size with a bite taken out of one corner where it fits into the arm of the sofa. Having owned a sofa with the faux-suede (textured) I can attest that it doesn't show dirt at all. Of course, the sofa I had was made by Ashley (i.e. CHEAP) and I didn't care if it showed dirt. It also had all cushions that could be flipped and/or removed. You do know that I grew up in the furniture business, right? You should just make a trip to North Carolina (High Point) and buy something straight off the showroom floor. Maybe visit a blogger friend while you're there.

Posted by: Dorothy at October 27, 2006 04:44 PM (pqJMZ)

7 ... the red sectional is the ticket.... all the way....

Posted by: Eric at October 27, 2006 08:15 PM (NlzwQ)

8 I do not like the piping on the new couch.. Andi and Caren Z say HI!!! I like the color, not the piping

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at October 28, 2006 12:39 AM (QbgBE)

9 I like the updated set much better, piping and all. And I'm glad that I'm not that tall.

Posted by: Sgt Hook at October 28, 2006 02:10 AM (ZkBlA)

10 the couch in Updat #2 looks almost exactly like mine (minus the color and the arms are slightly different). If it is a deep couch, while it eats up some space, its absolutly worth it if you'te tall for sitting and sleeping. I got the full couch, char and a half, and the large ottoman, its fantastic.

Posted by: the Pirate at October 29, 2006 03:28 PM (MifjL)

11 Ah, no couch. *That* explains why there hasn't been a housewarming party yet.

Posted by: Victor at October 29, 2006 10:06 PM (l+W8Z)

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Having had this whole "death in the family" dealt with four different ways this year, I have come to learn what helps me say my goodbyes and be okay, what certainly does not, and what leaves me just flat weirded out.

There was a viewing for Grandma and a short little speech at a shelter in the cemetery, but I did not see her buried. We were told there could not be a graveside service. I cried over her odd looking body, sharing stories and meeting people that knew her in ways I had never known about. I remember how awful it felt to ride in the limo the next morning as my mom squeezed my hand - all I could think of was how surreal the whole thing was and how proud I was of Leavenworth for the respect they showed our procession. Regular people on the street stopped what they were doing, some cars pulled over, and the Post did a very professional job. But I am still angry that she did not get the funeral a Lt Col's wife deserves.

Aunt J had a memorial I could not attend and a service at the cemetery. I fought tears through the reading and laid flowers on her coffin before they lowered it into the ground. Friends and family gathered at a house and shared stories over a meal more than once. We looked at pictures and books about her life. We celebrated her life and what Aunt J brought into our own.

I couldn't attend anything that was done for Uncle W. I don't know who was there, but I wish I had been one of them. He will forever be gone and there was no goodbye. I will probably always kick myself for not stopping in to see him when I was in town last year ... if I had, I'm sure I would have known he was sick before his time expired. I would have known that "someday" needed to be sooner than I ever made room for it to be.

Aunt F didn't have a service of any kind. No viewing, no memorial, no nothing. No one really even talked about her. The family sat around looking at each other for the weekend. We had sandwiches for most of the weekend as we told stories about our own lives. It was like she just happened to be out of town while we were coming through. She had just poofed away, her clothes packed up, and not a word spoken to cope with it ... like it wasn't an awful thing. It was something weirder than I can even convey.

I've heard relatives say through this that they want what Aunt F had ... nothing. They want to forgo the services and any fuss people would put up for them - 'cremate me and be done with it' is the general attitude. It is making me sick to sit there quietly and listen to it. This past weekend was creepy enough to make my skin crawl at the end of the day.

In my head I have spent the last year screaming. I hate this notion of a 'humble' exit and a lack of 'trouble' or 'attention' brought to the deceased. Funerals aren't for the dead! You have to respect what they wanted but services and burials aren't to make them happy - they are to give people like me a chance to say goodbye in a way that leaves MY heart at ease.

So I've decided a few things about my own exit - I don't want immediate services. I want a reasonable period of time to go by so that my friends as well as my family can be notified and make arrangements to travel if they want to. As awful as people look at their viewing, I want one. I want a memorial service for people to mourn if they need to. I haven't decided how I feel about the burial vs cremation yet ... but I'm leaning toward a burial. When I poof off the planet for whatever reason is mine, I want it to be about the people left behind.

Services, company, food, and stories.
I want an Aunt J goodbye for everyone.

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Tampa, here I come ... my flight leaves crack-ass-early in the morning.

So .... unless someone comes to check on the Princess Palace while I'm gone, you'll be lonely til Tuesday.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:05 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 I'm lonely already. But "crack-ass early?" What's up with THAT?

Posted by: Ogre at October 20, 2006 06:45 AM (oifEm)

2 ... safe trip...

Posted by: Eric at October 21, 2006 07:19 PM (NlzwQ)

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If you didn't catch me the first time I pushed this, here's your chance. If you've already read my bit about this ... sucks for you today.

CJ is still raising money to send Girl Scout cookies overseas. His daughter wanted to sell 750 boxes this year and she's made it to 691. That's only 59 boxes away from an amazing feat! Only $295 to raise. For the blogosphere, that's nothing! We can achieve this last push in our sleep. So head on over to A Soldier's Perspective, click on the Girl Scouts to Cav Scouts button, and give a boost to a little girl's goals.

You only have until Saturday to get your order, your neighbor's order, your cousin's order ... somebody's order ... in by the deadline

Oh, the hot bods getting to eat the cookies will appreciate it too

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I will admit, I did not watch seasons one or two so my ability to judge this show is based only on the past how-ever-many weeks. But I have to just say ...

Project Runway SUCKS!

I grew addicted to it once my aunt got me watching it, but now ...

Complete and total suckitude

(If you TiVo'd the finale last night and haven't seen it yet - stop reading) more...

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1 Um... wow. I guess I missed out.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 19, 2006 06:26 PM (OzEpS)

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Today, at 7am EST, the torture stopped.

No more confusion. No more tremors. No more dementia.

My aunt's has life ended.

My uncle lost his wife years ago. They were each other's world, but she stopped recognizing him as her husband. Still, he devoted his life to taking care of her. A nursing home or some kind of institution was not the right answer for them. It was tried, but she broke a hip in one of those places ... he brought her home and saw to it himself that she was safely tended to.

He watched her slowly lose who she was and slip away from the life they had built together. The more of her he lost, the more of his world that crumbled. But still, he was the person there day in and day out ... cleaning the soiled sheets, dancing with her like a child to coax her into tasks, and making her still feel pretty, I'm sure.

Maybe this was the easiest part for her, to lie down and wait for death. Maybe this was the most peaceful thing she experienced through her struggle with ParkinsonÂ’s and Alzheimer's. I don't know. She did what any social animal would do ... she went away from the 'pack' and waited for what her unconscious brain knew was coming. Maybe that is peaceful? I can only hope that it was.

But for him, the real agony for is just beginning. A life without even the shell of his love is something I don't think he is prepared to lead. To me, no services mean no closure. I just hope his heart hurts only half as much as I imagine it could right now.

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Milblogging needs your help this week.

Head over to the Radio Patriots for info on an e-bay auction to help raise money for SC Eagle and Ellicia (and their family). Bidding starts Thursday.

As some of you may have read at A Storm in Afghanistan (or one of many other places), Ellicia was recently diagnosed with some of the most awful cancer and is undergoing treatment (again). Updates to let everyone know how she is doing come from time to time, but they all need our support 24/7 ... whatever hopes, thoughts, and prayers we can give.

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Perhaps there are days when I am wound just a little too tight. So I try to keep myself sane and find my victories, my moments, my pleasures in the small things.

Simple. Sweet. Juicy.

How could anything be more perfect?

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I don't even want to listen to voicemails or read emails anymore. When they are from parents, out of the blue, they just can't ever be good. In fact, I'm not really sure what kind of cosmic fucking joke is going on this year, but I stopped laughing several months ago. Seriously. Not Funny.

Per my mom's most recent message - My aunt is lying in bed, basically catatonic. Won't eat, won't drink, won't respond. She is in the final stages of AlzheimerÂ’s. Hospice has called her time short.

Is this all to teach me that death is nothing to cry over? Because I always will ... no matter how 'used to it' or 'routine' or 'normal' it becomes ... I will always cry. I will always feel like my legs were kicked out from under me. I will always feel cheated. I will always feel like I am crumbling inside as I walk forward to be the rock for someone else.

They ... whoever they really are ... always say, life will never give you more than you can handle. Well, I'm starting to wonder who thought I needed to be given this much at one time. What on earth is it meant to prove? I already felt fairly confident in my strength of character and my ability to carry on in the face of adversity.

At this point, I am just angry. I have turned the other cheek when I have been crossed. I have held my retribution to thoughts, not acts. I have tried to 'pay it forward' in life. What about my life means I deserve to be tested ... and with such maleficence?

I know, I am looking at this through a 'me-me' lens and not a 'they are better off now' mindset ... but at the end of the day when it is me in this house and I am my shoulder to cry on, sometimes it is a valid lens to look through.
Does facing death make healing trust issues easier? No.
Does dealing with multiple losses help soothe abandonment issues? No.
Does a funeral make it simpler to be close to family? No.

I am trying to heal my many past wounds and be a put together adult here ... whoever is running this fucked up little game, you're just not helping worth a damn. I hope you find it funny cuz I sure don't, you evil prick.

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