Now we all know what these are...But I was recently enlightened by one man's struggle with them...in church...whhaa?

In my state of shock, verging on disapproval...I gave him a look...

He quickly threw up his hands and protested..."It's the pants! It's the pants! It's the dress pants! The fabric and the way it rubs...I can't help it!"

I raised an eyebrow, he continued...

"It happens to lots of guys...didn't you know?"

No, I didn't know...and I didn't really understand either...until I thought about what it is like to sit at a nice dinner, primped just so, cast in the image of society's good girl...wearing no panties under my skirt... Mmmm - What a lovely, tingly thought ... I just can't help but get more turned on as the night goes on.

Now I get it...

Oh, and he told me that it happens at work now too because of the new khakis...hehehe... Is that a ruler in your pocket or are you just trying to get a raise? Cuz I don't swing that way, Son...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:05 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Every girl has every now and again, whether she likes it or not, has serviced her man and then allowed him to perform the money shot... I am no exception...

Having engaged in said activity one day...he got some love in my eye... No big deal, this has happened before... only this time I came out looking like I'd just been in a bar fight... My eye got red and bloodshot, the eyelids were pink and swollen, and it was tender to the touch ... We cleaned up and assured myself the reaction was momentary. We were both dressed, him ready to leave for a job interview, and my eye was still giving me fits. I stood there bleery eyed as he took a picture of the two of us...he was proud of the strength of his little men, I suppose. He went off to interview and I sat to wonder what would become of my eye. How do you explain to the opthamologist that you've got a bit of your man in your eye without turning eight shades of red?

An hour or so later my eye returned to normal...putting my fears of being blinded or having to seek medical attention to rest.

But my advice to the men out there? Be careful with that thing...you'll put someone's eye out!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:54 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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According to the BBC, British researchers are claiming that eating soy products can reduce your chances of conceiving a child, based on recent studies.

Bad news for people that like soy and are trying to have a baby...

Great news for me! I can eat yummy healthy foods (like edemame) and smite the little bastards trying to create life in my body...all at the same time! Not that I don't take more traditional precautions to ensure my baby free zone remains baby free ... but every little bit helps ...

Rock on, Soy...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Acidman graciously referred to my site this morning (thus sending much more than my usual traffic my way) as he suggested it remain unheard of...He apparently didn't take kindly to my story of hefting around a dead woman.

In response I have to say *insert childish face with tongue sticking out*

I may or may not remain unheard of...and I will get my feelings hurt over poor traffic...but I'm still going to write about dead people... it was the coolest thing I think I've ever done.

Though the story may have made us sound like hooligans, we were as respectful of the dead as we could be and were grateful they had given us the opportunity to learn something so unique at such a young age. We made a lot of jokes and it definitely twisted our sense of humor but we did our best not to take it too far.

I am not a doctor today and I never applied to med school. Without that course, I never would have seen what my insides look like. And let me tell you...you're missing out if you don't know...

Oh, and I discovered something else from that course...I rock with probing tools...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:57 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Dare I reward #2000?

I know I'm still a small fry but hey, its still a milestone...

UPDATE:
It's getting closer! Have you thought about what you want your prize to be?

UPDATE 2:
Looks as though I am going to have to disappoint Skippy Stalin this time...the winner of the 2000th hit was Countertop of The Countertop Chronicles. Let's see what he asks for...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:19 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Yes, Loyal Subject (and people Eric sent over), I have set out to write about cadavers...real live human beings, only they're dead...

Since Eric was so kind as to send traffic my way, I thought I'd give you guys something to read about. After all, no one has won the topless photos yet...

Once upon a time, I was a senior in high school...after much study, kow tow, and ass kissingÂ… I was granted the privilege of dissecting a human cadaver... Let me tell you, it was AWESOME!

The Scene:
An unassuming high school classroom kept just a little bit too cold with an innocent looking wooden cabinet in the back. 4 oddly out of place autopsy tables aligned in the back of the room. 24 high school seniors with far too much curiosity to do them any good.

Day 1: Time to Get Our Bodies
The day began with brownish fluid leaking from the cabinet, covering the floor halfway across the classroom. We didn't have to deal with it...our class didn't meet until after lunch. It was up to the other classes that met in that room to deal with the stinking, putrid fluid. Most of them didn't know what it was...but we did...
The bell rang, we filed in, and divided into our 4 assigned dissection groups. The teacher stood up on a counter top and barked out directions. Group by group we proceed to remove our bodies from the cabinet.
...Group 3...
2 girls, 4 guys, 1 dead chick, and a porcelain table with a drain
We each grab part of the red plastic body bag and heft...Damn this woman is heavy! Our efforts were not evenly distributed and neither was she. Fluid sloshed in the body bag and we struggled to heft her 4 feet off the ground in a coordinated fashion...we almost dropped her a couple of times. She was double bagged but that didn't stop the fluid from finding the path of least resistance...where the zippers met. The fluid also found my cutely manicured toes, primed with the school colors, mistakenly placed that morning in open toed shoes. Finally we got her up where she belonged, but not before we smacked her head on the table in one of the worst thuds I think I've ever heard.

Once everyone was situated we opened up the bag... The smell was something you cannot prepare for. It hit your nostrils deep inside and made you question your real need for oxygen. Our eyes fixed on a 74 year old woman who had donated her body to science...that was nearly floating in the same red-brown delight that was now squished between my toes. The remainder of the day was spent bailing her out...with little plastic drink cups... It took a while before I could drink Kool-Aid again.

We decided she needed a name...being the smallest, yet most fluid filled cadaver in the room... she was dubbed Juicy Lucy

Next time, teenagers with scalpels...Muhahaha

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:10 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The path you choose is not mine to judge but I can't help but do so. Your life and your decisions do not affect me but still I am affected in my reactions to them.

I don't know if I should take pride in knowing I was right or be disappointed that things really aren't that different...

You are bad at relationships and you have been unsure if you are ready for one...so dating your roommate seemed like the right place to test it out? How the hell did that make sense in your head? No escape to your own house when things get tough. No space to call your own that she doesn't have claim to first. You always know where she is and she will always know where you are. The commitment-phobe has placed himself in the most committed relationship of his life...there is no escape from it but to move. At this rate, have you proposed yet?

I have no right to be angry but still I am. I'm not jealous, I feel as if I have been deceived. All this time I have heard how much you have changed - evidence would indicate otherwise. I have heard you say the words, "you were right, I should have listened" but still you don't.

I have always thought better of you than what you could live up to. Perhaps it is I that need make less foolish decisions...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm off writing about this cat right now...

Once I'm done later today I'll be back to bemuse you

Posted by: Princess Cat at 11:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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You know, I never really thought I'd see people protesting over the PR of potatoes... in London no less... But they've taken to the streets and are demanding the dictionary be amended...

I can understand that they are part of a potato growing lobby that feels the term is hurting their sales... It might seem reasonable that their request be to have the term restricted in sales & marketing campaigns... But to have the term removed from the dictionary? Like it isn't a real word?

Come on people... It's a real word and it's one that people are going to use in their daily lives whether you like it or not. Dictionaries include curse words that aren't considered properly acceptable and slang terms that aren't exceptionally kind. What have we come to when we start banning words from the dictionary simply because we don't like them?

I can get behind you on wanting to promote your product but don't mess around with bans that will get us all into trouble later. Have a little forethought man...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 10:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I've been away from my phone a lot lately so when I saw that I had several missed calls over the weekend, I was not surprised. The weird part? There was a new number I didn't recognize, no voicemail, and I didn't have a clue where the area code was from. I figured it couldn't have been too important if they didn't leave a voicemail.
This morning that same number called again. Only this time when I answered it, they hung up...immediately. I'm talkin 4 second phone call here. Ok...so I'm a little more curious at this point and I go look up the area code.

Waco, TX? Who the hell do I know in Waco, TX? Uh oh...this could be bad...

I tried to call the number back but it was busy. I wait a few minutes and try to call again. I get a recording that says the number is not working.

So now I have no idea what to think. It could be one of two people that don't really have any reason to be calling and I really don't want to talk to anyway....or it could be some kind of telemarketer crap that sometimes happens....

But if it happens again, I'm going to start getting bitter...

UPDATE:
They have now called three times...
Jun 19, 8:18p
Jun 20, 12:21p
Jun 20, 1:24p

Not cool

UPDATE 2:
Fourth time - Jun 20, 5:39p
I answered again and discovered the number belongs to a call center somewhere but they wouldn't tell me who they were or why they were calling. Fuckers...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 05:42 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It bit me, you know... The damn deck bit me... and it bit me damn hard!

Ok, so I had a little fault in there too. I was walking around barefoot on the deck and stubbed my big toe (not unusual for the klutz that is me). This was different though, it hurt a lot. I looked down and there was a mouse sized spear sticking out of my toe. I yanked it out and of course, broke a piece off in my toe. I tried coaxing it out, but to no avail...

I went in search of the proper toe surgery tools... and found none.

So I took an unused finishing nail from a piece of newly purchased furniture and proceeded to dig the offending piece of wood from my toe. It took a bit of work but I have now removed one tiny splinter and one mouse sized spear-tip from my toe.

Finding a band-aid and antibiotic ointment was another adventure in itself...

But now I am bandaged and good as new! Who says self-surgery isn't fun?

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:25 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Happy day to all you dads out there...hopefully you got to do something fun with your kids today.

I bought a father's day card a month ago and had its mailing penciled in my schedule...but then it went on vacation in my room somewhere...oops... A phone call had to do instead. But my brother took him to the annual car show in town and, if all went well, bought him a few rounds... Hey, I paid for Mother's Day...lil bro can pay for Father's Day... it's only fair...

And one more Father's Day wish...to my blog daddy... I happen to think he's one of the hippest dads in the 'sphere... I think Christina would agree... but perhaps we're biased. Hope you had a great one wielding some weapons and eating red meat. It wouldn't be an American celebration any other way!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It's a pretty nice day out and I'm heading to the library...ugh...

I am not a fan of the library. Period. It just creeps me out, I'm not sure why. It brings out every insecurity I have so deftly hidden beneath the surface of my cutely freckled self.

In my 5 years as an undergrad I set foot in the library a total of ten times, if that even. And beyond the tour of the library that I got at freshman orientation, it wasn't until my third year that I started going. Once Intermediate Microeconomics was over, and I stopped meeting Carol to study there, I had very little reason to go back. Study groups always found somewhere else to meet and 5th year I had an office to go to if I was stuck on campus.

As a child I would beg to ride my bike to the library in the summer time. I can remember as a young child climbing up the 'bookshelves' in the kids room that were nothing more than a semi-pyramidal shaped wall of cubes housing books in every nook and cranny. All the cool books were at the top... I was proud of my library card and the speed with which I consumed books. As I got older, I stopped climbing and sought out books about a life I had never lived...the sea. Island of the Blue Dolphins captured my attention over and over again. I grew obsessed with whales and my parents took me to Boston to see the aquarium and go whale watching. I read Dove probably a dozen times. I kept reading about all kinds of sea creatures I had never seen but longed to encounter some day.

When the new library opened at my elementary school I helped to build and populate the terrarium at the entrance. I was cool because I was putting within their reach the very animals the younger kids would read about. Then came the lessons on how to use the library...I was SO above this...I mean, come on...I was in the SIXTH grade...I had been using the library for years...what was this woman going to teach me about books that I didn't already know? I was Miss Library...

Hehehe...being young was so much fun...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 02:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Today's Thought of the Day is:

Is it really just Hollywood that thinks this way? I'd venture to say no. Any town that fosters and thrives on the high school-esque drama would find the above statement to be true. Count your blessings if you've escaped the bullshit...I seem to keep finding it...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Today's Thought of the Day is:

Well at least I'm not alone in my struggle...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 01:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Upon the professor's suggestion, I am writing a research paper about Col. John Warden (USAF) for my strategist project due Tuesday. I know nothing about him other than he's a Persian Gulf era airpower enthusiast.

Crap.

Stupid research papers in summer school!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 04:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I've lived this long without an iPOD or any type of portable MP3 device but if I can have one for free, dammit, I want one for free(ish).

CLICK THIS LINK to help me get it.

I need 4 people to help me out of the dark ages...PLEASE!!!!

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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If there is one thing I am terrible at, it is hiding the way I feel. I wear my emotions across my face all of the time, even when I don't realize it. I guess I'm pretty transparent that way...especially in the last few weeks. I have had people come up to me and ask me what is wrong or strangers give me the 'you look so sad' face. The main reason would be my difficulties with Agent Smith. Someone I considered to be one of my closest friends. And now, someone who has turned away from that bond. She used to read this blog but I'm not sure if she still will. I'm not writing to try to instigate anything with her; I just don't know what to do with it anymore. Hopefully she will understand that if she reads this, but I'm not holding my breath...

Disclaimer: If what you are about to read seems petty to you, that's because it is... But that doesn't make it suck any less ...and in my mind, that makes it suck even more.

Agent Smith was a friend that I would do anything for. We had a lot of common interests and we enjoyed each other's company. I did everything I could to help her out. From using whatever connections I had to help her sick father to staying up all night at a diner with her, just so she had moral support to do work she wasn't motivated to do. I gave her any notes I had from previous courses, copies of papers I had received good marks on, and edited paper after paper under the slimmest of deadlines. I wanted to see her succeed so I gave her what I could. We had a lot of good times together around town and a lot of experiences we'll never share with anyone else.

Then I moved away to grad school... Things have never been the same...
I have changed on the East Coast for a number of reasons. First, I'm not happy. Second, grad school isn't the same as undergrad. Third, I have to care a lot more about my future than I did then. Fourth, life has a lot more pressure to it these days than it did when I could gallivant about San Diego with hardly a care in the world. It has not changed who I am at the core. It has only changed the amount of time I have to spend laughing and joking around. I still want to play; I just now have to budget for that differently than I did before. She does not understand this about me and I do not understand her at this point in her life.

We never fought when I lived down the block. Since I've moved we've fought times. This time was too much for her, it seems. The sad part is that the fight always starts over something that should never come between two friends - a guy. We weren't even fighting over the same guy. Our fights revolve around my choice in men. This last fight though was about the way she was treating the man she is dating. I felt that she was behaving badly towards him and she was shocked that I dare question their relationship based on that behavior. Things just got worse from there...

I planned a trip back to San Diego for her graduation. Knowing she would be busy with family in town, I got a hotel close to her apartment and a car large enough to transport 5-6 people to make things easier on everyone. About a week after a fight, I got a message from her boyfriend saying he would be staying in my hotel with me. It was news to me since no one had ever run that past me before, nor had anyone offered to chip in. He said he would talk to her about it and I didn't hear another word on the subject...until I brought it up with her over two weeks later. Three weeks had gone by since she had laughed in my face about things and told me she was over it. She was still pissed and ripped into me for wanting an apology that the hotel misunderstanding was not resolved. Of course, another fight ensued.

Just over 24hrs before I was supposed to fly out for her graduation she e-mailed me (at 5am ET) saying she didn't want to see me while I was in town. We exchanged a few emails before I left but she didn't see me while I was there. There was no apology for the considerable sum of extra money I laid out in order to accommodate her graduation schedule. I flew in a day early, stayed extra days, spent more on a hotel and car than necessary, but I don't think she even realizes it. There was no communication while I was in town other than a text message to my phone at 10:40 the night before I left saying she hoped I had a good time and a safe flight home. I haven't responded because I was sick with anger over the message. I was shocked at how flippant she continues to be and how easily she can just close the door on what we shared.

She feels in her gut that ending our friendship is the right thing for her to do. I can't change that in her. I have asked her to see my side of the story and she won't budge. She believes she is right and capable of seeing the truth for what it is, not what I say it is. She is angry and I'm not who she wants me to be anymore. Under those circumstances, she has no place for me in her life.

I feel like all I can do at this point is wave goodbye. No amount of explaining will undo what she feels is done. I will miss her. She was someone I thought would be there for me through anything.

So ... if you see me and want to know why I am so sad ... it is because Agent Smith has made up her mind and has no qualms about following through.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 12:22 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yep, I'm watching the dog again...
He just spent 8 days in the kennel and if left home alone he has to go into the crate that he hates. I thought the little guy could use a break.

So, I'm up far earlier than usual (and thus somewhat grumpy) and the dog doesn't give a crap. I'd be sleeping if it weren't for the neighbor dog that was barking this morning. At least it wasn't this dog though. He thought about eating this morning but decided instead to go press his face against the front window and rip off a few, rather loud farts while I ate breakfast just on the other side of the room. Awesome...

I can see this is going to be a great day already...

Posted by: Princess Cat at 08:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Today's Thought of the Day:

"If you feel you have no faults ... there's another one." --unknown

Admitting you have been wrong, that you struggle, or that you do not understand does not make you weak; it makes you human. Your strength lies in your ability to admit fault and the search to correct it.

Posted by: Princess Cat at 03:14 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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